It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything related to love, dating, sexual purity or relationship issues in general. These topics were once the primary focus of my blog (and led to the publication of two books).
My life is much different than it was during those first few years of blogging. I’m no longer a single missionary living in the “University Belt” of Manila, and I no longer meet hundreds of new college students every year through seminars.
My writing has changed along with my life. I post here less frequently these days, and most of my posts are either devotional thoughts or just updates about life events.
One thing hasn’t changed: questions about relationships are what bring most new visitors to this blog. I see it when I check the statistics (search queries, most popular posts, etc.). I still receive relationship questions from the Philippines and other parts of the world. I’m grateful that what I’ve shared is still helping people who want to honor God in their relationship choices.
I decided to re-visit this topic today after watching a TEDx video by Joshua Harris. For those who don’t know, he is the author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye, a book that has sold millions of copies. Here’s the premise of the book: Josh decided that dating was a completely flawed way to search for true love. He committed himself to a different approach and shared his insights with the world. For better or worse, his writing caused a shock wave in the Christian community.
I read I Kissed Dating Goodbye back in the early 2000’s. I thought Harris made some legitimate points about the mistakes young people were making when it comes to romantic relationships. But some of his advice just didn’t seem practical or balanced to me, and I believe there are much better books out there (see: Top Three Christian Dating Books).
Perhaps the biggest issue with I Kissed Dating Goodbye was not the book itself, but the way some believers applied it. I have encountered some that act as though a 21-year-old wrote an inerrant, universal guide for love, sex, and dating.
It’s now been 20 years since Josh’s revolutionary book was published, and the man who once wrote off dating has been re-thinking his position in a very public (and courageous) manner. He’s been listening to those who were both helped and hurt by his book. He’s now planning to make a documentary based on this experience called I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye.
Here’s the video about it from his website: