Category: For Women

Holy Week Reflections: Love is Not a Feeling

I did not enjoy the sound of my alarm at 4:00 am Wednesday morning. A couple of other factors made waking up even harder. I caught a cold a few days before and had sinus congestion. I somehow sprained my neck at the gym and it was still sore.

I did get up, despite not feeling I was at 100% strength. Why? Love is the reason.

No, I didn’t have an early morning breakfast date with a beautiful woman. I did give my word that I would meet a friend and leave with him at 5:00 am. I had a seminar scheduled for a group of about 70 students from One Body in Christ Ministries (a church in Manila). I rode with them to the Subic Bay area in Bataan. Love for God and love for those students compelled me to keep my word.

My physical discomfort was not really such a big deal. The experience, however, did remind me of an important truth: love is not just a feeling.

When we talk or sing about love, we usually start telling people how we feel (or how that “special someone” makes us feel). Some even do immoral things (like pre-marital sex or having an extra-marital affair) and say “I was in love, I couldn’t help myself.”

Of course love affects our emotions, but true love is much more than just the way we feel. In fact, true love will cause us to do things we don’t feel like doing. True love will cause us to do the right thing, even when it is not easy (1st Corinthians 13:6)

We are now in a season (holy week) in which we ponder the suffering of Jesus. Consider His prayer the nigh before He was crucified:

 “Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.”
–Luke 22:42

Why would Jesus pray for the “cup of suffering” to be removed? He was a sane human being. Just like the rest of us, He had a natural desire for comfort and self-preservation. No sane, healthy person wants his/her life to end—especially not by crucifixion.

Despite His normal desire to live, Jesus willingly surrendered Himself to death on a cross. Why? He did this because of His love for us. We can develop a more mature understanding of love by remembering Jesus’ sacrifice for us.

This is one of the many articles that you’ll find in my book: Basta Lovelife: Making Wise Relationship Decisions.

The “Romantic Vulture” Syndrome


Has this ever happened to you?

You meet someone that really gets your attention. This person is gorgeous, intelligent, witty, sexy, holy, and any other positive attribute you can imagine. There’s just one “little” problem: he/she is in a relationship.

This happens to me all the time and I’m sure it has happened to you. There’s always a chance that you were not the first to notice this wonderful person.

Back during my radio interview, someone asked if it was OK to ask God for someone who is already in a relationship. We joked on the show about asking the Almighty to intervene and cause a break-up. This is what I call being a “romantic vulture.”

My answer to the question was, “yes, theoretically.” Here’s what I mean: unless someone is engaged or married, they are still not in a lifetime covenant. In theory, they are still free to choose someone else. Break-ups can and do happen. Here are just a few things to keep in mind.

*Don’t get your hopes up—after all, this person is not available. Never invest emotional energy into someone who is not available.

*Keep looking for “unattached” people. Don’t sit around waiting for this guy/girl to become available. It may never happen.

*Don’t get involved in “two-timing.” If there is mutual interest, a choice must be made immediately about the current relationship (either stay with the current girlfriend/boyfriend or end the relationship to start something new). Don’t be involved in hiding something from an unsuspecting girlfriend/boyfriend.

*Don’t get involved in a “rebound relationship.” By “rebounding,” I mean getting into a relationship immediately after someone has broken up. This is usually a set-up for failure, especially if someone is leaving a long-term relationship.

*If this person is married, forget about it! God gave us the Ten Commandments for a reason. Getting involved with a married person is a no-win situation for you.

This is one of the many articles that you’ll find in my book: Basta Lovelife: Making Wise Relationship Decisions.