Tag: Fatherhood

Reflections on Fatherhood

 

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
-Psalm 127:3

My life was forever changed one month ago.

The momentous event began on the evening of March 17th, our sixth wedding anniversary. We were settling down for the night and had almost drifted off to sleep. Mare Cris said something was happening and rushed to the bathroom. Her water had broken. I quickly gathered up a few things for our trip to the hospital, energized by an adrenaline rush.

Cris was admitted to the hospital around midnight. She endured over 16 hours of labor before the decision was made to do a C-section. Our big, beautiful boy was born on the evening of March 18th.

Life has been a bit of a blur since then. Clark seems to get heavier and stronger every day. He regularly broadcasts his discomfort or discontent with his tiny but deceptively powerful lungs and vocal cords. I pray these same instruments will one day speak grace and truth to those around him.

Clark is now sleeping on the bed here in my home office. His slumber is somehow peaceful and vigorous at the same time. This relatively quiet moment provides a chance for his mother to sleep and me to write.

I wanted to take a few moments to write at least a short post–to have a “snapshot” of words, thoughts, and memories that I can come back to in the future.

I think what has surprised me most is how naturally this has all come. My wife is the ate (eldest sister) of her family, so taking care of babies was familiar to her. It’s the opposite for me. I didn’t grow up with a baby in the house–I was the baby. I didn’t know how well I would handle being a first-time father. But holding my son and changing diapers is now second nature to me, as if I’ve been doing it all my life.

We’ve anticipated Clark’s arrival for months, and now he’s here. The divine disruption in our normal routine has been an adjustment, but I wouldn’t have it any other way (I know my wife feels the same way).

Babies are often called bundles of joy, and that they are. But I also consider Clark to be a bundle of grace–a gift I will never deserve.

I love you, my son.

 

My Son and the Voice of God

Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.

-Jeremiah 33:3

Those of you who follow me on Facebook or Twitter know that my wife and I received some exciting news yesterday: we are going to have a baby boy!

We weren’t 100% sure we would find out during yesterday’s ultrasound. We’ve heard of babies being “shy”–being in a position that was not conducive to determining the gender. That was not a problem–the proverbial cat was out of the bag as soon as the technician placed the instrument on my wife’s tummy. It was only a split second, but let’s just say the first image didn’t leave much to the imagination. She quickly changed the scanner position and asked us if we wanted to know the gender of the baby. We told her we’d been waiting for this day and did want to know. More images confirmed what we thought we had seen.

I mentioned a promise that God gave us from His word in a previous post. I wrote down this verse in my prayer journal before my wife got pregnant:

Your wife will be like a fruitful vine
within your house;
your children will be like olive shoots
around your table.

-Psalm 128:3

 

But there’s a secret of sorts that I’ve only shared with one or two people (one of those being my wife): God told me weeks ago that we were having a son. I don’t think I can pin it down to a specific date, though I wrote it in my prayer journal back in July. It’s something God impressed on my heart as I was praying for a healthy baby. That impression never left me–it grew stronger over time.

God tends to do that when He’s speaking to me. He knows I’d be likely to doubt a one-time experience, so He slowly and methodically puts something on my heart. This is the way God told me He wanted me to preach. It’s impossible to explain for those who haven’t experienced it. But I’m sure many of you know exactly what I’m talking about.

I’ve waited to share this for a couple of reasons:

  • I didn’t want to give anyone the impression that my heart was set on a boy instead of a girl.   My main desire was (and still is) for a healthy baby. I would have been 100% fine with a boy or a girl–either one would be treated as a precious gift from the Lord, created in His image.
  • I trust the Lord, but I don’t trust me. I know that I’m capable of misunderstanding Him (it has happened before). And let’s be honest: some Christians can get really weird with those “the Lord told me” statements.

The most important things God has to say to me are already written in His Word–the Bible. Any experience I have must line up with the truths of Scripture or it isn’t from the Lord.

Having said that, I treasure those times when I hear God speaking to me or leading me regarding something specific in my life. It is another way that He expresses grace (undeserved favor) to me.

God has spoken, and God is speaking.

Are you listening?