A Common Misconception about Love and Sex

I want to talk about a very common misconception about love and sex. Many people believe that it is OK to have sex as long as you are in love. This is 100% false.

This belief is false for two very important reasons. First, feeling like you are “in love” is not a guarantee that your relationship will last. Most of you probably have ex girlfriends or ex boyfriends. This means you were absolutely convinced that you were in love with this person. Where is he/she now? I cannot count the number of times I have heard someone tell me that they had sex because they thought they had found an everlasting love. Some had been in the relationship for years. Some were even engaged. These people were disappointed and heartbroken once the relationship ended. They lost both their purity and the relationship.

Secondly, being “in love” does not protect us from the consequences of premarital sex. You still suffer the consequences even if you are in love. The spiritual consequences (feeling far away from God), emotional consequences (guilt, broken heart, tendency to repeat the mistake), and physical consequences (disease, unwanted pregnancy) happen when we disobey God’s protective commandments.

I have encouraged all of you to think about your future spouse. Imagine saying the following things to someone you want to marry:

“You will not be my first on our wedding night—you will be lover number (2, 3, 6, etc). I’ve already given myself to others, but each time I was in love.”

“I have an STD, but I was in love when I contracted it.”

God wants us to experience sex within the protection of a lifetime commitment. Follow His commandments and you will have no regrets. Follow your own heart’s desires and you are headed for trouble.

The human heart is the most deceitful of all things,
and desperately wicked.
Who really knows how bad it is?
-Jeremiah 17:9

This is one of the many articles that you’ll find in my book: Basta Lovelife: Making Wise Relationship Decisions.

What’s In Your Suitcase?

I am going through the annual process of packing for my trip to the States. Sometimes this can be challenging. The reason is simple: I have plenty of “stuff,” but not much of it will fit in a suitcase. Almost all of my belongings are left here, and only a few important items can come with me.

There is a spiritual analogy in this experience. According to the Bible, this life is temporary, so we should think of it as preparation for eternity. When we die, we leave everything behind. Even your most precious earthly possessions have no eternal value. Only a few things will “fit” in our “eternal suitcase.”

All we can take into eternity is our relationship with God and our service to Him. If we are not careful, we will spend all of our time on things which really do not matter. Jesus warned about this approach to life:

Then he told them a story: “A rich man had a fertile farm that produced fine crops. He said to himself, ‘What should I do? I don’t have room for all my crops.’ Then he said, ‘I know! I’ll tear down my barns and build bigger ones. Then I’ll have room enough to store all my wheat and other goods. And I’ll sit back and say to myself, “My friend, you have enough stored away for years to come. Now take it easy! Eat, drink, and be merry!”’

“But God said to him, ‘You fool! You will die this very night. Then who will get everything you worked for?’

“Yes, a person is a fool to store up earthly wealth but not have a rich relationship with God.”

–Luke 12:16-21

Rick Warren said it this way:

“When you fully comprehend that there is more to life than just here and now, and you realize that life is just preparation for eternity, you will live differently. You will start living in light of eternity, and that will color how you handle every relationship, task, and circumstance. Suddenly many activities, goals, and even problems that seemed so important will appear trivial, petty, and unworthy of attention. The closer you live to God, the smaller everything else appears.”
–Rick Warren, Purpose Driven Life

How much of your life are you spending on eternal things? What’s in your suitcase?