Worship and Reverse Culture Shock


Confessions of a Recovering Anglo Worshipper

And David danced before the Lord with all his might, wearing a priestly garment. So David and all the people of Israel brought up the Ark of the Lord with shouts of joy and the blowing of rams’ horns.
-2nd Samuel 6:14-15

There’s an interesting phenomenon that can happen when you return to your country/culture of origin. It’s called “reverse culture shock”—feeling surprised or out of place in your own culture.

It has happened to me here in an unexpected place—church. I’ll give you some background that will help explain.

Filipinos have taught me a great deal about the joy of worship. They sing and praise God in a way that is visceral, passionate, uninhibited, and emotionally charged. Raising our hands, clapping, and dancing are quite common when we have church in Manila. We have a certain freedom of expression—we wear our hearts on our sleeves, so to speak.

Some of you may think that I’ve been sneaking off to a charismatic/Pentecostal church while in Manila. I haven’t—this before-mentioned worship style happens at many Baptist churches (I’ve experienced this at more than one congregation).

Apparently my Filipino brothers and sisters have influenced me even more than I imagined. Clapping and swaying in worship just come naturally to me now. I fit right in when I do this in the Philippines, but it is different here in the States. On more than one occasion I have looked around at my fellow Anglo worshippers to find that I’m the only one moving. Sometimes I think a church full of mannequins would show more expression that we whiteys do. This is not just an age or worship style issue—I have noticed this in some very young and contemporary worship settings.

Before any of my fellow Caucasians get upset with me, I want you to know that I used to be just as stiff in worship. I first learned to let go and be a little more expressive in my mid-twenties. Worshipping with Filipinos took me a step further, and I never intend to go back to my former mannequin ways. I’m beginning to learn how to drop my pride and just celebrate God’s presence. If I can learn this, anyone can.

Yes, and I am willing to look even more foolish than this, even to be humiliated in my own eyes! . . .
-2nd Samuel 6:22
(David’s response to his wife’s criticism of his “undignified” behavior)

Avoiding “Rebound” Relationships

REBOUNDING: GREAT FOR BASKETBALL; TERRIBLE FOR YOUR LOVE LIFE

As I’ve mentioned before, one of the biggest mistakes people make in relationships is to rush and move too fast. There’s another similar mistake that singles make in regards to their dating lives: getting a new girlfriend/boyfriend immediately after a breakup. This is often called a “rebound” relationship. Sometimes we are tempted to try to immediately fill an emotional void with a new boyfriend/girlfriend (one of my friends called this “panakip butas”—which roughly translates into “covering the hole”).

Generally speaking, rebound relationships do not work out so well. We usually do not make good decisions when we are still vulnerable from the pain of a breakup. Sometimes we bring the “baggage” from a past relationship into the next one. This can lead to a vicious cycle of failed relationships.

Here are a few things you should do to avoid rebound relationships:

After a breakup, take some time to evaluate the past relationship. See if you can learn some lessons from it. Were you too young to have a girlfriend/boyfriend? Were there warning signs that you ignored? Did your ex have good qualities that you hope to find again? These are questions that you cannot process if you jump into another relationship. These important questions may prevent you from repeating mistakes.

It is also important that you take some time to heal emotionally. Do not enter a new relationship if you are still hurt, angry, bitter, or upset with your ex. This simply makes you vulnerable to really bad decisions. How much time should you take? I cannot give you an easy answer for this. Generally speaking, the longer and more serious the relationship, the longer it will take to heal. There are other factors (the way in which the breakup happened, etc) which may also affect healing time.

Finally, it may be a good idea to learn to stand on your own for a while. Some young people start dating very early and never go without a girlfriend/boyfriend. I believe that this causes an overdependence on romantic relationships for fulfillment. Learn to depend on God for your sense of wholeness and security. If you can learn this important lesson, you will be prepared for a healthy relationship.

Solomon wisely stated that there is a time for everything (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8). If you have experienced a breakup, pray for wisdom before starting a new relationship. Pray that God will lead you to the right type of person at the right time.

This is one of the many articles that you’ll find in my book: Basta Lovelife: Making Wise Relationship Decisions.