“God will give you a husband/wife in His time—you don’t have to do anything. If you are single, it is because it is God’s will.”
Ever heard something like this? Maybe it’s time to re-think it!
I’m afraid that some Christian authors/speakers are responsible for propagating this unbiblical message. It’s about time for me to officially challenge this over-spiritualized nonsense!
There was a pretty intense discussion on my multiply account after I posted an article on Boundless.org. This is part of what I said:
“. . . What I’m saying is that I believe singles are being taught to be too passive, assuming God will answer our prayers without us doing anything. Many authors are arguing that if we are single, it is by God’s divine will and He will hook us up in His time. This is easy to say if you got married in your early to mid-20’s, but what about the rest of us?
I encounter many in their late 20’s and 30’s (here and in the States) who want to be married but are still single. Statistically speaking, singleness has risen dramatically over the past couple of decades in the States. I suspect it is also happening here in the professional classes of Manila. Either God isn’t doing His job as divine matchmaker, or we have misinterpreted our roles in finding a suitable spouse.”
By the way, did you know that Calvin himself took some practical steps to find a wife? It’s a humorous story that you can read about here. Yes, “Mr. Predestination” himself utilized the help of a committee to find a wife. I guess he didn’t trust God’s provision and timing.
See also: Is it OK to Search for Love?
Note to Readers: This discussion/article is for those who are old enough to consider marriage. Please read What is the Right Age for a Relationship if you want to read my views on teenage romance.