Category: My Journey

It’s been a few months since I’ve updated my blog. This post may not be quite as deeply reflective as the previous post on fatherhood, but I did want to take a few minutes this morning and write a few thoughts/updates.

Clark turned six months old a few days ago. He is smiling and able to sit up on his own (as you can see in this picture, taken after an invigorating nap). One tooth has sprouted, and another is beginning to emerge.

The past six months have been a paradox in terms of time. The sleepless nights of those first few weeks seemed to slow down time.

Yet he’s grown up so quickly. Clark looks more like a toddler and less like a helpless infant with each passing day. I still wonder if I take enough time to contemplate my son’s developmental milestones–each of them a blessing from God.

My wife and I operate on an invisible timer of sorts–taking care of chores or whatever else we can while he’s asleep. We know at least one of us will be occupied once he wakes up.

Somehow, by the grace of God, I’ve been able to finish about half of the hours required to complete a Doctor of Ministry at Gateway. God willing, I’ll have 75% of it done by Clark’s first birthday. It is a lot of work, but it has been a worthwhile investment that has exceeded my expectations.

It’s been almost two years since I began pastoring the church where we currently serve. I pray that my congregation receives at least a fraction of the blessing I get from studying God’s word and preparing sermons every week.

Mare Cris and I have been married for over six and a half years. I love her more now than the day I married her.

I am unworthy, but deeply loved.

Life is about grace. I’ll never fully understand it, but I stand with open arms and an open heart–a grateful recipient.

 

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
-Psalm 127:3

My life was forever changed one month ago.

The momentous event began on the evening of March 17th, our sixth wedding anniversary. We were settling down for the night and had almost drifted off to sleep. Mare Cris said something was happening and rushed to the bathroom. Her water had broken. I quickly gathered up a few things for our trip to the hospital, energized by an adrenaline rush.

Cris was admitted to the hospital around midnight. She endured over 16 hours of labor before the decision was made to do a C-section. Our big, beautiful boy was born on the evening of March 18th.

Life has been a bit of a blur since then. Clark seems to get heavier and stronger every day. He regularly broadcasts his discomfort or discontent with his tiny but deceptively powerful lungs and vocal cords. I pray these same instruments will one day speak grace and truth to those around him.

Clark is now sleeping on the bed here in my home office. His slumber is somehow peaceful and vigorous at the same time. This relatively quiet moment provides a chance for his mother to sleep and me to write.

I wanted to take a few moments to write at least a short post–to have a “snapshot” of words, thoughts, and memories that I can come back to in the future.

I think what has surprised me most is how naturally this has all come. My wife is the ate (eldest sister) of her family, so taking care of babies was familiar to her. It’s the opposite for me. I didn’t grow up with a baby in the house–I was the baby. I didn’t know how well I would handle being a first-time father. But holding my son and changing diapers is now second nature to me, as if I’ve been doing it all my life.

We’ve anticipated Clark’s arrival for months, and now he’s here. The divine disruption in our normal routine has been an adjustment, but I wouldn’t have it any other way (I know my wife feels the same way).

Babies are often called bundles of joy, and that they are. But I also consider Clark to be a bundle of grace–a gift I will never deserve.

I love you, my son.