Category: My Journey

Florence Gail Sanders: Remembering Mom

Florence Gail Sanders: 1939—2012

I received some heartbreaking news from the States on December 29th, 2012. My mother passed away suddenly after a brief hospitalization.

I’ve decided to write some of what I shared when I spoke at her funeral on January 5th, 2013:

The Hide-and-Seek Incident

One of Mom’s favorite stories is also one of my most vivid childhood memories. I was a typical little boy (probably four or five years old) who decided to play hide-and-seek with Mom. There was just one little problem: I didn’t tell her about my mischievous game. I went back to our laundry room, hid myself under a sheet, and waited for her to start searching.

It didn’t take Mom long to notice I was missing. She called for me, but I didn’t answer. She started looking in the house before searching in the front and back yard. Mom became increasingly anxious with each passing moment and began calling the neighbors. I remained silent—I guess I was proud of myself for finding such an ideal hiding place.

She eventually found me, and I’m sure I got a good spanking.  I’m equally sure it was less severe than what I really deserved—Mom told me she was so relieved to find me that she had a hard time disciplining me.

Mom made sure to mention this story to my wife during one of their first conversations.

Sunday Mornings

Corporate worship has been a part of my family’s routine for as long as I can remember—Mom and Dad made this a top priority. I wish I could tell you that I was always eager to attend, but nothing could be further from the truth. It was the 70’s, and everyone was expected to wear his or her “Sunday best.” There was another fashion-related issue of that decade: formal wear usually meant polyester. I did not like dressing up for church—I called the uncomfortable Sunday attire “new clothes.” “Mom,” I whined, “do I have to wear those new clothes again?”

There was something else I didn’t like about Sunday mornings: it seemed to be one of the designated ear-cleaning days. Mom would put my head in her lap and clean my ears with a Q-tip (cotton bud). I’m sure she was gentle, but I would squirm and protest as though she was torturing me.

Week after week, Mom patiently coerced me into getting ready for Sunday school and worship. She didn’t know I would become a pastor/missionary some day. She just wanted to make sure her son knew about Jesus.

Perseverance

Mom was not exactly fortunate when it came to health issues. Most of her problems began to manifest themselves in the 80’s (that was an especially difficult decade for her). I have memories of the surgeries, hospitalizations, and doctor visits she endured over the years.

But I remember something else just as clearly: Mom’s attitude through these trials. I never sensed a hint of bitterness or anger towards God. Mom had a relentless will to live and serve her family. Her enthusiasm for life never waned over the years, even as aging took an additional toll on her health.

These are just a few of the memories that have come to mind as I celebrate the life of Florence Gail Sanders, my mom.  I could not have asked for a better mother.

“There are those whose lives affect all others around them. Quietly touching one heart, who in turn, touches another. Reaching out to ends further than they would ever know. ”
– William Bradfield

I have written an additional post to share more of what I said at the funeral–truths from the Scriptures that spoke to me during this sad time.

Mom with Evan, her youngest grandson (2008)

The Move: A Year Later (2012)

It’s been a year since I moved here to Angeles City. The past twelve months have been surprising, crazy, wonderful, and any other similar adjective you want to throw in. I’d like to share a little more about some of the events that led up to my move–things that I haven’t gone into detail about here on the blog.

Let’s go back to around June of 2011. I began the school year with my usual routine of meeting new students, sharing the gospel, and trying to establish new Bible studies. But I made one significant change in strategy: I decided to stop visiting the university where I first began doing ministry back in 2002. Years ago I had good connections and didn’t have much trouble getting inside. But security grew increasingly strict, making it more difficult to get inside the campus.

A change was also taking place inside of me. I was beginning to feel a little restless, as if God was preparing me to do something else. I started entertaining the idea of moving somewhere else and/or church planting, but I didn’t feel like I had received a specific assignment or direction from the Lord.

I encountered two serious problems in August. The first issue had to do with my living arrangement: the building management asked me to sign a ridiculously expensive lease to continue living in my apartment for another year. They already had two month’s worth of rent as security deposit and they were asking for thousands of additional pesos. They also wanted to raise my (already expensive) rent by 10%. I had no intention of handing over that kind of cash to a management I didn’t trust (the way they handled things when I left confirmed my instincts, but that’s another story).

The second problem impacted my campus ministry more directly. I lost access to my other “target campus”–a college where I had done ministry since 2006. The guards apologetically informed me that no Bible studies would be allowed on campus. I wrote a letter to the (new) school president, but I never received a reply.

I could have adapted my ministry to either hindrance if they had occurred separately. Moving to an apartment further from campus wouldn’t have been a big deal as long as I could still visit students inside the college. Having no access to the campus would not be a problem if I could still live nearby. But I wasn’t sure how to overcome both of these obstacles at once.

The building management put pressure on me again the following month regarding the new lease and security deposit. I refused to pay anything other than my usual monthly rent/fees.

I wasn’t sure what my next move was going to be. It seemed like God was speaking me through these circumstances, but I didn’t know exactly what He was saying.

My “ah-ha” moment came during the last weekend in September. I decided to visit Erwin and family in Angeles City for a couple of days. I wasn’t really planning to move here at the time—I was just coming to catch up with a good friend and get a break from the problems I was having in Manila. But the weekend visit included Sunday night worship with the people of Hope Angeles, his newly formed congregation. Suddenly everything made sense—I knew this was where God wanted me. Erwin had never pushed me to move here, but he enthusiastically supported my decision once I made it. So that was it—I would move to Angeles City as soon as possible.

October was a pretty crazy month. I found a great apartment that had recently become vacant (just a few days before our inquiry). I was trying to get everything either packed or sold (I had to downsize a little for this new place) in preparation for the move. Hope Angeles had their official launch, and I also had a few speaking gigs to wrap up in Manila.

I moved here to Angeles City on the evening of November 1st. I was ready for “Ministry 2.0”—a fresh start in a new city. But I never could have anticipated what God had in store for me next.

I spent the next couple of days unpacking and setting things up here in the new place. I bought a Globe tattoo (internet device) and got online every once in a while to update my blog and check my email. I noticed a new friend request on Facebook while I was online. I don’t always accept new add requests to my personal account (I prefer they join my public Facebook page instead), but the beautiful profile picture of Mare Cris Nitura caught my attention.

She Changed Everything (Picture from the Wedding Day)

I doubted such a gorgeous woman would be single and available. But I added her and wrote a quick message to thank her for contacting me. She replied the next day, and this began a process that would lead to our marriage just a few months later (I’ve already shared our love story, so I won’t go into greater detail). I’m now married to the most incredible, beautiful woman any man could ever hope for.

The joys of married life are more than enough to keep a smile on face. But God has given me even more to celebrate. He has allowed me to partner in ministry with Erwin, one of my best friends. We are seeing previously unchurched people worshiping and following Jesus. Church planting is very challenging work, but the rewards make it all worth it. I have renewed enthusiasm for preaching and ministry.

My life has changed so much in the past twelve months. Not long ago I was spending lonely nights in my Manila apartment trying to figure out what I was going to do with my life and ministry. Now my life is full of love and purpose as never before.

I marvel at God’s goodness and sovereignty when I think about all circumstances that brought me to this point. This verse comes to mind:

What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open.
–Revelation 3:7

I’ve taken the time to write this in hopes that it will encourage you. Yes, I’m talking to you—it’s no mistake you are reading this post. Maybe you are wondering if God really has a plan for you. He does. It may not be exactly what you expected, but it’s always for the best. Just trust Him and keep following. No circumstance can prevent an obedient disciple from experiencing God’s perfect will.

I hope my testimony also demonstrates just how quickly God can bring you into a new, blessed season of life. He doesn’t need much time to turn things around.

But I’m also writing this for me. One of these days I may find myself in another proverbial valley and need encouragement. Maybe I’ll need to go back to this post and be reminded of God’s faithfulness.

“There is no panic in Heaven! God has no problems, only plans.”
-Corrie Ten Boom