Category: For Women

This is a timely topic for several reasons:

*I was asked about this issue at a recent seminar.
*Thess just posted about it over at her blog.
*I’m working on two additional posts (including a learning the hard way post) that are directly related to this issue.

I’m writing this article primarily from a single person’s perspective, though I hope married readers also consider these thoughts.

God’s Commandment

God has made it very simple—we should not commit adultery. The issue is so important that He included it in the Ten Commandments.

You shall not commit adultery.
-Exodus 20:14

God’s mind has not changed on this issue!

It foolish to disregard God’s commandments! Here are a few reasons:

Adultery is Harmful

*Adultery destroys trust between a husband and wife.
*Adultery destroys an existing family—which often includes the lives of children.
*Adultery has the potential to produce illegitimate children—they will suffer due to the irresponsible behavior of others.

Adultery is a Dead End

*You are not likely to “graduate” from mistress/fling to spouse—it rarely works that way.
*Even if you could legally marry him/her, is this wise? Would you want to make a covenant with a covenant-breaker? If someone has already cheated on his/her spouse, what makes you think you won’t get cheated on?

Adultery is Deceptive

*Part of the attraction of adultery is the secretive, forbidden aspect of the relationship. This added excitement may give a false sense of intimacy/pleasure.

The Pathway of Adultery

I want my readers to understand something: any romantic behavior towards a married man/woman is completely unacceptable! Such actions violate his/her marriage covenant and put you on the pathway of adultery.

Here are some things you should not do with a married person of the opposite sex:

*Spend time alone with him/her (I’m primarily referring to meeting behind closed doors).
*Spend too much time with him/her.
*Constant communication (cell phone, email, etc) with no legitimate (work-related) reason.
*Deep, emotionally intimate conversations.
*Flirting.
*Talking to someone about his/her marriage problems. Unless you are a pastor/counselor, you have no business doing this. Even pastors have to be very careful about counseling women in this situation.

These are just a few examples, but all of these behaviors have something in common: emotional/romantic energy that should only be directed towards one’s spouse.

I’m not saying you can’t be friends with married people of the opposite sex—I have many married friends. But you have to keep good boundaries in these relationships.

Let’s obey God’s commandments and honor the covenant of marriage.