Category: For Men

Purity and Intimacy

I think most people would admit that intimacy is important in a relationship. Talk about the importance of purity, however, and some are not as convinced. Whether we want to admit it or not, the two are connected. I’ll explain:

Drink water from your own well—
share your love only with your wife.
Why spill the water of your springs in the streets,
having sex with just anyone?
You should reserve it for yourselves.
Never share it with strangers.
-Proverbs 5:15-17

I have placed two pictures above. As you can see, one picture is my water dispenser. The other is water which has flowed down a freshly painted curb. Which one would you want to drink?

That’s a pretty easy question, right? The water in my dispenser is fresh and pure. The water on the street is contaminated—probably toxic.

Proverbs gives us some powerful imagery regarding purity and intimacy—the two are strongly connected. Water which has run down the street loses its value. In the same way, sex looses its value and intimacy when it is shared with someone other than your spouse. The more people you share it with, the less valuable it becomes.

If you want true sexual intimacy with your future spouse, strive for sexual purity. Wait and enjoy the gift of sex only with your spouse.

For Men: What Kind of Man are You?


“These are the years when a man changes into the man he’s going to become the rest of his life. Just be careful who you change into.”
–Uncle Ben’s advice to a teenage Peter Parker in Spiderman

This is probably one of my all-time favorite lines in a movie. There’s a lot of truth to it.

A few weeks ago I had a good talk with some young men at a nearby college. We spent a lot of time talking about vices such as drinking and smoking. We also talked about women and lust. The advice I gave them was similar to Uncle Ben’s advice to Peter. It went something like this:

Don’t think that you are somehow going to magically change as you get older. If you have poor character as a young man, you’ll probably have poor character as a grown man.

Let’s think about this for a while. I think most of you want to become responsible, loving fathers. You also want to be faithful, caring husbands. So here’s my question: how do you treat women right now? Do you treat them with respect or do you treat them as sex objects? Are you honest with women or are you a “two-timer?” Now is the time to learn how to be respectful, honest and faithful towards women.

Please do not think that you will suddenly change just because you reach a certain age. Turning 25, 30, or 40 will not necessarily change your character. You will not suddenly change from a babaero (womanizer) into “husband material.” Good character comes from making the right choices, not from getting older.

The Apostle Paul gave this advice to Timothy, his young disciple:
Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.
-1st Timothy 4:12 (New Living Translation)

Paul challenged Timothy live a pure life while he was still young. He challenged him to be an example to everyone, even for those who are older.

Learn to have integrity and self-control now while you are young. You are developing patterns (good or bad) that will be with you for the rest of your life. You are becoming the man you will be for the rest of your life.

Don’t let the excitement of youth cause you to forget your Creator. Honor him in your youth before you grow old and say, “Life is not pleasant anymore.”
-Ecclesiastes 12:1 (NLT)

This is one of the many articles that you’ll find in my book: Basta Lovelife: Making Wise Relationship Decisions.