Category: For Men

Samson’s Scars


Delilah lulled Samson to sleep with his head in her lap, and then she called in a man to shave off the seven locks of his hair. In this way she began to bring him down, and his strength left him.
-Judges 16:19

“What was I thinking?” Maybe Samson said something like this to himself as he sat in prison. In his weakened state, he could not even break the bronze shackles which held him. The Bible’s strongest man was now weak, helpless and blind.

I’m amazed that he told Delilah the secret to his strength. After all, she did try every method Samson gave her to subdue him. Didn’t he realize that she would cut his hair? Once his secret was revealed, his strength was taken. He was captured and his eyes gouged out. Samson was blind, however, long before anyone touched his eyes. He was blinded by love, lust, passion, or a combination of the three.

Every man has a certain soft spot for a beautiful woman. I learned of this vulnerability early in my life. Carrie Owens, my first grade “girlfriend,” transferred to another school. I remember grabbing my yearbook, climbing my favorite tree in the front yard, and weeping as I looked at her picture. I think I even sang to her 1×1 inch black-and-white photo. I guess this was quite sophisticated romantic behavior for a six year old. I did, of course, recover (maybe I was distracted from my grief by the latest cartoon); but the soft spot had been hit. It wouldn’t be the last time.

No matter how strong or level-headed I try to be, the vulnerability remains. I can get hurt. When this happens to me, I get the feeling of a lump in my throat. The sensation instantly takes me back to younger days—teenage years and beyond. I’ve learned to be more careful, but there’s no way to protect myself completely. Under the right circumstances, I can be reduced to a sobbing, lovesick, helpless six year old.

I guess this is every single man’s dilemma. We want to be strong, yet we can be so vulnerable. We’ve all been hurt. Sometimes the wounds are self-inflicted by our own foolish choices. Sometimes it’s just an inevitable part of life and the quest for love. Like it or not, most of us bear Samson’s scars.

(This post may get deleted at any moment—I may lose my nerve and decide that it’s just too sappy and corny).

Adam and Eve, Eyes and Ears

American college students often come and help us with our ministry. A few years ago we had a tall, attractive student that spent a few weeks with us. It didn’t take long for the young men on campus to notice her and take action. They started writing poems and passing them to her through friends. We had many laughs while reading the Shakespeare wannabe’s corny professions of love (note to self: NEVER try to write poetry in your second language—it usually just doesn’t work out).

This phenomenon is actually as old as creation (literally). Read Adam’s first words when he was introduced to Eve:

“At last!” the man exclaimed.
“This one is bone from my bone,
and flesh from my flesh!
She will be called ‘woman,’
because she was taken from ‘man.’”
-Genesis 2:23

Adam experienced love at first sight, and his response was to break out into poetry. From the Garden of Eden to our college campuses, there’s a principle at work: men tend to fall in love with their eyes, while women tend to fall in love with their ears. Male/female relationships are certainly more complex than this one statement, but I think we can learn some important lessons from it. Men and women have unique vulnerabilities because of this principle. Let’s start with the men.

From Adam until now, men are visually “wired.” By this I mean that we are easily aroused by visual stimuli. It is part of our Creator’s design that has been affected by sin. Here’s the problem with being visually wired: we men tend to sin with our eyes (see Matthew 5:27-28). Men, for example, drive the pornography industry. It is true that some women do get addicted to porn, but this is the exception. We men are the primary consumers, and the industry would not exist if all men were born blind. Our vulnerability is not limited to pornography. Many a man has suffered great loss (family, money, etc) because he fell for a beautiful face or body.

Women also have their unique weaknesses. Because they fall in love with their ears, women can easily fall prey to pambobola (flattery) and other verbal or written expressions. A woman may commit herself to purity, only to fall for a smooth-talking man with bad intentions. She may quickly give her heart to someone that has not truly proven himself to be trustworthy. Women’s love for romantic words drives them to buy “pocket books” and other romance novels. Unlike porn, this literature is not inherently evil. An obsession with romance, however, can cause a woman to make bad decisions or compromise her standards (see Song of Solomon 8:4)

Let’s carefully consider our vulnerabilities as men and women. Being cautious about what we watch and listen to will help us to guard our hearts.

This is one of the many articles that you’ll find in Basta LoveLife, Making Wise Relationship Decisions