The Downward Spiral

Premarital Sex and Emotional Consequences

Browse through your typical magazine and you won’t find much about the dangers of premarital sex. You might find some warnings about the physical consequences (STDs, unwanted pregnancies, etc). But you’ll never see any mention of emotional consequences.

Well, emotional consequences (guilt, shame, etc) are very real and 100% unavoidable for those who engage in premarital sex. There’s one in particular I’d like you to think about—the tendency to repeat the same mistake again and again.

Consider this quote from the State of the Philippines Population report:

“Pre-Marital Sex Patterns among the youth generally indicate that once one gets initiated to it, a repeat either with the same partner or with another is most likely.”

This quote is a summary of their statistical analysis (based on surveys conducted with Filipino youth). Based on my own counseling experience, I have to say I agree.

Once a couple becomes sexually active, it is practically impossible for them to stop. Try as they may, they will be unable to avoid the temptation to have sex again. The couple is left with two options: 1) break up 2) continue in sexual sin.

The problems don’t stop there. Once someone has become sexually active, he/she is more vulnerable to become sexually active in future relationships. The end result can be a downward spiral, in which premarital sex becomes a part of every relationship.

My point is simply this: the best plan is to remain chaste until marriage. Don’t try to convince yourself that you’ll “only try it once.” Biology simply doesn’t work that way.

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.
-1st Corinthians 6:18

Note: my book has a chapter entitled The Fuse: How Far is Too Far?

The Once in a Lifetime Gift

Imagine you have a very precious gift. It is priceless, and it has some unique qualities: 1). You’ll never have another gift like it—you’ll only have one such gift your entire lifetime 2.) You can only give it away once. 3). Once you’ve given it away, you can never, ever get it back.

How would you treat such a gift? Would you casually give it away to someone who is not completely committed to you? Would you give it to someone who would throw it away and break your heart? Would you flush it down the toilet?

Well, we are born with such a gift: virginity. It is a special gift that you can only give to one person, one time. Once lost, it is gone forever. This gift was intended for your spouse—the one who would treasure your heart forever.

It breaks my heart to see the way this gift is treated. It seems that many young people give their virginity away before they even realize how valuable it was. They take this incredible gift and simply throw it away—what a waste!

Please consider the value of your virginity. Save it for your future spouse.