Category: For Men

When it comes to relationships, I believe there are basically two types of men: protectors and predators.  I’ll describe each.

Protectors

As the name implies, a protector is interested in protecting the heart, purity, and reputation of any woman he is in a relationship with.  He wants to postpone sex until marriage, and his actions prove it.  A protector puts her needs before his own.  The woman in his life feels completely safe: she feels loved, honored and at peace with her own conscience.

Predators

A predator is not safe to be with.  He is primarily interested in his own wants, and women are simply a means to that end.  A predator can be charming, smooth, persuasive, and manipulative—after all, he must carefully disguise his true nature and intentions.  He seeks his own gratification, indifferent to the harm he causes.  Sooner or later, the woman in his life loses: she loses her innocence, self-respect, and maybe more.

Ladies, what kind of men are you choosing?

Men, what kind of man are you choosing to be?

See also: The Two Types of Men, Part 2

As usual, students have contacted me this week with relationship questions. Two of them described very unhealthy relationships. I don’t mean the normal “love quarrels”—I mean seriously dysfunctional relationships (one of them described abuse).

My advice to both of these young women was pretty simple: break up with Mr. Loser, move on with your life, and find a decent guy.

“But I love him.”

Both of them gave me this response, as if I would say, “Oh, you love him. Well, never mind then—please proceed with your own destruction.”

Here’s what I hope all of you will understand: sometimes we reach a point where there are no easy, pain-free decisions. In these cases, we have to choose temporary pain (break-up) instead of long-term pain (staying in a bad relationship).

Sadly, I’ve seen many people stay in terrible relationships in order to avoid the temporary pain of a break-up.

Choose wisely! Remember: sometimes the right thing to do can also be the hardest thing to do.

In case you are wondering, this article applies to the guys, too.