Category: For Men

Relationships: The Two Commandments

I believe much of the Bible’s relationship advice for singles can be summed up in two commandments.  Here they are:

1. BE PURE
2. BE WISE

The Bible doesn’t really give specific instruction on dating/courtship.  But it has a lot to say about purity and wisdom.  These principles have everything to do with love and romance!

Be Pure

I’m talking about sexual purity—the Bible’s commandments to abstain from sex outside of marriage.

Consider these verses:

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
–Genesis 2:24

Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”
-1st Corinthians 6:16

It is God’s will that you . . . should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable . . . he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.
-1st Thessalonians 4:3-8

2. Be Wise

Wisdom is the ability to make good life decisions.  The Bible is full of admonitions to live and choose wisely:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.
Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the LORD and shun evil.
-Proverbs 3:5-6

Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.
-Proverbs 4:23

Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.
-Song of Solomon 8:4

Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise . . .
-Ephesians 5:15

The Two Commandments at Work

I think 90% of students’ (and singles’) relationship problems are a matter of purity or wisdom (or a combination of the two).

Let’s say a young woman is being pressured to have sex by her boyfriend.  We clearly have a purity issue.  In order to stay pure, she needs to “flee youthful lusts” (2 Timothy 2:22) and end this relationship immediately.

Now, suppose a young man tells me he’s madly in love.  Upon further questioning, he reveals he’s never met his “girlfriend” in person—he’s “in love” with a textmate.  Well, we have a wisdom issue here—it is foolish to profess love for someone you’ve never met in person.

The scenarios are often more complex than the ones I’ve just mentioned.  Regardless, it usually boils down to issues of purity and/or wisdom.

I’ve been teaching these two commandments to our students.  They are easy to remember, and (hopefully) it will help them to apply biblical principles to dating/courtship.

Sex and Death: the Appalling Irony

This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live . . .
-Deuteronomy 30:19

I used to be a substance abuse counselor.  We frequently had training on HIV/AIDS awareness and prevention.

I remember a discussion we had about the means of HIV transmission.  One of the lecturers said something that struck me to the core.  HIV, she said, was transmitted through fluids we associate with life (blood and sexual fluids).  “Whoa!” I thought to myself.  Intentionally or not, she had said something remarkably profound—so profound that I remember it years later.

I had never thought about it this way—maybe you haven’t either.  We’ve taken that which should create life and used it to cause death! 

Consider these HIV/AIDS statistics:

*Every 24 hours, 8,000 people die of AIDS.
*There are now over 30 million people infected with HIV.
*More than 25 million people have died from AIDS since the disease’s discovery.
*Africa has over 11 million “AIDS orphans”—children whose parents died due to the disease.

This tragic reality doesn’t stop with HIV.  Just consider the silent holocaust of abortion—the millions of children who are murdered before they are allowed to take their first breath:

*Approximately 42 million abortions happen every year worldwide—115,000 per day.
*Over 400,000 abortions per year happen in the Philippines.
*In the United States, approximately 43% of all women will have at least one abortion before age 45.
*Repeat abortions by teenage girls have gone up almost 70% since 1991.

Like the Apostle Paul said, we “invent ways of doing evil” (Romans 1:30).

All of this because we won’t obey God.  All of this because we’ve decided we’re smarter than He is when it comes to the gift of sex.

Beloved readers, this is why sexual purity is so important.  It isn’t just a matter of guilt, shame or emotional baggage—it’s a matter of life and death!  When we lose respect for the process that creates life, we inevitably lose respect for life itself.

Choose purity.  Choose Life.