Two Sides to the Story


The one who states his case first seems right,
until the other comes and examines him.

-Proverbs 18:17 (English Standard Version)

One of my favorite channels in the States is Court TV. I usually end up trying to follow some type of high profile murder case when I’m home.

It’s really fascinating to watch the opening arguments of a murder trial. The prosecution goes first, presenting their evidence against the accused. Once they are finished, it seems 100% certain that the defendant is guilty. The defending lawyers, however, have a way of changing that. The defense often challenges all of the prosecutor’s evidence piece by piece. Suddenly you are not so sure if the man on trial is guilty.

Things haven’t changed that much since Proverbs was written. Proverbs are often just simple, wise observations that we can apply to our life.

Court TV is not the only place that we can see Proverbs 18:17 at work. I’ve seen this principle in many different types of personal conflicts. How many of us have sided with someone, only to learn that the other person had an equally valid point? How many times have we failed to see the other person’s point of view?

Of course there are times when one person/side is clearly wrong. There are times when someone has clearly sinned and deserves most or all of the blame. My experience, however, is that this is rare. Normally when there is a conflict, both sides share in the blame.

It is incredibly difficult to be objective and look at something without bias. Although it is difficult, we must try to do this in order to make wise decisions. If there is a conflict, try to hear both sides of the story. Don’t be too quick to fight for someone’s cause—you may later realize that there’s more to the story. Try to see the other side.

Choose Your Friends Wisely!

The 2007-2008 school year will be starting soon! I want to give you students an important piece of advice: choose your friends wisely!

“Show me a man’s friends and I’ll tell you who he is”
-unknown

I’m not sure who authored this quote, but I agree with it. When I think back to my student days I realize that my friends had a tremendous influence over me. They influenced who I was and how I behaved (good or bad). When I think about “high points” or “low points” in my life, a lot of it has to do with who I surrounded myself with at the time.

One of my favorite chapters in the Bible is Psalm 1. Here’s how it starts:

God blesses those people
who refuse evil advice
and won’t follow sinners
or join in sneering at God.

-Psalm 1:1 (Contemporary English Version)

Let’s also look at what Jesus did as he began his public ministry:

Then he chose twelve of them to be his apostles, so that they could be with him. . . .
-Mark 3:14 (Contemporary English Version)

One of the first things Jesus did was to choose his barkada.* Jesus was know for associating with “sinners,” yet he carefully chose his “inner circle”—those he would spend most of his time with. I find it interesting that they were chosen so they could “be with him.” Yes, they would be taught and trained, but they would also be his friends. Jesus, in fact, would later call them his friends (see John 15:13-15)

This importance of friendship is especially true for students/teenagers. For my student readers, I want you to know that choosing good friends is more important now than it ever will be. Right now you are especially vulnerable to the influence of your friends (I think this is especially true for Filipinos, who are naturally family/group oriented). I’ve seen students do interesting things in order to please their friends. Some fraternities will brawl over who gets to sit on a certain part of campus. Some activist groups will spend more time protesting the school dress code than studying. Think carefully before joining a barkada, group or organization!

This new school year means new beginnings. You’ll have opportunities to make new friends and reconnect with old ones. Choose wisely! When you choose your friends, you are indirectly choosing your own habits, character, and destiny.

*For my non-Filipino readers, I’ll attempt to explain “barkada.” This word is a beautiful Filipino concept with no exact English translation. It is a cultural, social friendship group in Filipino culture. Virtually all Filipinos (especially students) are part of a barkada—a group of friends that they associate with and spend time with.