Category: Cultural Issues

Witnessing in my Underwear


I normally get a massage about once a month at a place called Massage King. I spend a lot of time walking around with a backpack, sitting on concrete, and working out with weights so I consider this a good investment for my health.* For all my readers, let me assure you that this is a legitimate, very professional massage place (just don’t want anyone’s imagination to run wild).

I’m amazed at the strength that is in the hands of a 90 lb Filipina masseuse. They can really dig into the muscles. Sometimes I feel like I need to “tap out,” as if I were being submitted in the Ultimate Fighting Championship. So far I’ve never had to stop a massage or tell her to take it easy. I know that the discomfort is therapeutic (necessary, actually), and my male ego compels me to hide any pain.

I had an interesting conversation during my last massage a couple of days ago. Olive (my masseuse this particular time) was convinced that I had gotten whiter since my last visit (is that possible?). Clients only wear a gown and a small pair of boxer shorts, so I basically felt like I was in my underwear (even though the boxers are worn over one’s own underwear). She could indeed see most of my skin, but of course, I wasn’t convinced that my skin color had changed. Ganitong kaputi ako dati (I was this white before), I insisted to her and others in the room. The conversation was light-hearted—typical of interactions with fun-loving Filipinos.

I’m still surprised at what people remember. Olive brought up topics from past conversations—things that I didn’t even remember telling her. At one point she asked if I was still teaching at seminary. I think I brought in a Christian History textbook back when I was teaching that subject. The gentleman on the table beside me eventually chimed in on the discussion (the massage rooms usually have two or three clients in at one time). He asked me a few questions about where I was from and what I was doing here.

I decided to give away a few gospel tracts to Olive before I left. I stood up and started looking through my bag. There I was, wearing the equivalent of a hospital gown and boxer shorts while looking for gospel tracks. I smiled to myself as I thought about this unusual opportunity to share the good news.

*You can learn more about how to lose fat and gain muscle at my fitness blog (strongandfit.net).

The Fat Report

“Tumaba ka (you’ve gotten fat). Pumayat ka (you’ve gotten skinny).”

Live in the Philippines for a while and you will hear these words. My missionary mentor noticed that his Filipino friends/associates would frequently update him on the perceived status of his weight (especially after returning from furlough in the States). He affectionately called this the “fat report.”

This is an interesting dichotomy in Filipino culture. I’ll explain.

Filipinos are incredibly polite–so polite that they are often indirect in their communication. Filipinos, for example, are unlikely to give you a direct “no” if you invite them to something. You may hear something like “we’ll try,” which really means “we’ll come if there’s a snowball fight in Manila.” A Filipino might not show you a mistake that you’ve made—he/she would rather not embarrass you, and would hope that you realize it on your own. Being too direct can be interpreted as rude here.

The opposite, however, seems to be true when it comes to comments on one’s physical appearance. A few years back I developed a pimple on my forehead. It seemed that everyone I met felt the need to call my attention to the blemish, as if I needed to have emergency plastic surgery to have it removed. After a few comments I was ready print my own t-shirt logo: I KNOW I HAVE A PIMPLE. DON’T PANIC, IT WILL BE GONE IN A FEW DAYS.

This is particularly evident when it comes to the words “fat” and “skinny.” It has taken me some time to get used to hearing these words used so loosely. In America, you just don’t call someone “fat,” especially a woman. Calling a woman fat is essentially a declaration of war. Here in the Philippines it is completely different—commenting on someone’s weight is done just as casually as one would comment on a new set of earrings.

I’ve learned a couple of things that have helped me better understand the “fat” and “skinny” labels.

First, the “fat” term is a bit ambiguous. Any type of perceived increase in body mass is called “fat,” even if the individual has not gained bodyfat. I spent my first summer break (April/May) in Antipolo for language school. There was plenty of food around and I had some good weightlifting sessions. I put on a few pounds of “good weight” (mostly muscle) as a result. I frequently heard “tumaba ka” (you’ve gotten fat) when I returned to campus. Some of the students made gestures to imply that I had gotten “fat” through my chest and shoulders.

Secondly, the “fat report” is very subjective. A couple of weeks ago a friend told me I looked thinner. A couple of days ago someone told me I’ve gotten fat. Call me crazy, but I don’t think I’ve gained weight in two weeks. It seems there is a strong cultural compulsion to comment on a friend’s physical appearance, regardless of how accurate or inaccurate the perception may be.

I feel very blessed with the body that God has given me, so I’m not sensitive about this issue. I do, however, take a closer look in the mirror if I start hearing several “fat” comments. I don’t mind having a little extra encouragement to avoid developing the “Baptist preacher midsection.” That “encouragement” will always be present here. As long as I live in Manila, I can count on hearing the “fat report” on a regular basis.