Category: Abstinence

Purity and Intimacy

I think most people would admit that intimacy is important in a relationship. Talk about the importance of purity, however, and some are not as convinced. Whether we want to admit it or not, the two are connected. I’ll explain:

Drink water from your own well—
share your love only with your wife.
Why spill the water of your springs in the streets,
having sex with just anyone?
You should reserve it for yourselves.
Never share it with strangers.
-Proverbs 5:15-17

I have placed two pictures above. As you can see, one picture is my water dispenser. The other is water which has flowed down a freshly painted curb. Which one would you want to drink?

That’s a pretty easy question, right? The water in my dispenser is fresh and pure. The water on the street is contaminated—probably toxic.

Proverbs gives us some powerful imagery regarding purity and intimacy—the two are strongly connected. Water which has run down the street loses its value. In the same way, sex looses its value and intimacy when it is shared with someone other than your spouse. The more people you share it with, the less valuable it becomes.

If you want true sexual intimacy with your future spouse, strive for sexual purity. Wait and enjoy the gift of sex only with your spouse.

For Women, Part 2: Say “No”; to Mr. Bolero

If you have attended one of my TLW seminars, you have heard this advice:
End the relationship immediately if you are pressured to have sex. Sexual pressure is inexcusable.

“Ganun ba?” (like that?) is the normal reaction of a few of the female audience members.

I will cut through the bola (flattery) and give you the real meaning behind pressure lines. Allow me to do some translation.

“Sige na” (come on, baby) really means one or all of these things:

I do not respect you enough to wait.

I do not care if I ruin your life by getting you pregnant.

My physical urges are what are most important to me.

You are not worth waiting for.

I do not care if I break your heart.

Your future is not important to me.

I do not care if you lose your self-respect.

I want to brag to my friends about my conquest.

I am selfish.

I am immature.

I am not ready to be a father, but I don’t mind giving you the responsibility of becoming a mother.

I am more important than you are.

Do any of these lines sound like true love?

You may think I’m exaggerating, but I’m not. I’ve been in the men’s locker room. I know what some teenage boys say when their girlfriends are away. If a guy starts putting on the pressure, the relationship is pretty much over. He has revealed his true intentions. You are about to get used in the most despicable way. Get rid of him before you have a broken heart. You deserve better!

This is one of the many articles that you’ll find in my book: Basta Lovelife: Making Wise Relationship Decisions.