Category: Abstinence

The Valentine’s Day Massacre


I want to tell you a story that is thousands of years old, yet still happens today. It is more common than any fairy tale, yet you will not see it in many pocketbooks (romance novels). This story is both ancient and modern—it varies only slightly from the beginning of time until now.

The story goes something like this:
1. Boy meets girl and begins dating/courtship.
3. Boy professes undying love and pressures girl to have sex.
4. Girl gives in to boy’s pressure and has sex with him.
5. Boy loses interest and dumps girl.
6. Girl is left to deal with her broken heart as well as any physical consequences.

There are a few variations to this story. For example, sometimes the girl realizes too late that she was not even the only girlfriend—she was just one of his many “conquests.” Sometimes the couple was together for months (or years) and she thought that they would get married. Regardless, the outcome is usually the same—a young woman with a broken heart.

I meet hundreds of students each year, and I’ve heard this story many times. Please don’t let this happen to you. If you are being pressured to have sex, the relationship is already dead. It is over. The only question is the price you will pay before you realize it is over. Take my word on this or you too will pay a high price.

See also:
For Women, Part 1: You Lose!
For Women, Part 2: Say “No” to Mr. Bolero

Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.
Proverbs 4:23

This is one of the many articles that you’ll find in my book: Basta Lovelife: Making Wise Relationship Decisions.

Your Future Spouse: Someone Who Deserves Your Love NOW

There is an important question we ask when we teach purity seminars:

Who Deserves your Love? Several people (or groups of people) may come to mind.

Students rarely think about their future spouse as an answer to this question. All of us singles dream of getting married and having a loving family. Here is an extremely important question: what are you doing now to prepare yourself for your future spouse? Maybe teenagers seem to believe that is too far off into the future to think about now. Understand this: the choices you make now can have a major impact on your future marriage.
You will have to be honest about your past when you meet the man or woman you plan to marry. A healthy marriage does not have secrets. What you tell your future spouse largely depends on your choices right now.

This should give us a brand new perspective on how we behave. I remember, for example, a seminar I did a few months back. The students asked me about a certain type of sexual behavior. I knew what they were thinking: since this is not sexual intercourse, you can do it and still be a “virgin.” My response seemed to stun them—it went something like this: “Would you want to tell your future spouse that you have done this?”

Let’s have respect for ourselves and others. You should treat your fellow singles as someone else’s future husband/wife. You should treat yourself the same way. Don’t do things that you will be ashamed to tell your future spouse about.

This is yet one more reason to postpone sexual intimacy until marriage.

This is one of the many articles that you’ll find in my book: Basta Lovelife: Making Wise Relationship Decisions.