I wish I could say I always understand the ways of God. I wish I could say life is always easy for those who love Jesus. I wish I could say my faith never waivers and I never question God.
But all of these things would be a complete lie. The truth is I don’t always understand God.
Such times remind me of a conversation between Jesus and His disciples. He had just taught some truths that were difficult to understand–a message which caused many would-be followers to leave. Jesus sees those who have abandoned him and looks to his disciples:
At this point many of his disciples turned away and deserted him. Then Jesus turned to the Twelve and asked, “Are you also going to leave?”
Simon Peter replied, “Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life. We believe, and we know you are the Holy One of God.
-John 6:66-69
Like Peter, there are times I find myself following Jesus simply because I know there is no other place to go.
I’m also reminded of a quote from The Screwtape Letters, an amazing work from CS Lewis. This book is a compilation of imaginary letters from an elder demon to his apprentice. The “enemy” mentioned here is God:
Our cause is never more in danger, than when a human, no longer desiring, but intending, to do our Enemy’s will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.
-CS Lewis, The Screwtape Letters
You may have a million unanswered questions. I do, too. Just keep following.