Be Faithful with Little

A few weeks ago I preached on the topic of stewardship—managing the resources God has blessed us with.

I based the first message on Matthew 25:14-30, the Parable of the Bags of Gold (more commonly known as the Parable of the Talents).

According to Jesus, those servants who faithfully managed their master’s resources were rewarded with greater responsibilities (vs. 21). This encourages me to be faithful in “little things,” and I passed this challenge along to our members.

A story in The Principle of The Path reminded me of this truth. The author recalls a story his father, Charles Stanley, used to tell him.*

Before I go any further, let me say a quick word about Dr. Charles Stanley (for those who may not be familiar with his ministry). He is the pastor of First Baptist Atlanta and the founder/president of In Touch Ministries. The reach of his ministry is international, and his preaching had a significant impact on my own spiritual growth during my teenage years. My late aunt was an active member of his church and would bring cassette tapes of his sermons to me by the box. There’s no telling how many hours I’ve spend listening to these tapes on my Walkman while mowing lawns.

But Stanley didn’t start out as a mega church pastor. One of his first churches, in fact, was a small church in the mountains of North Carolina. Each week he preached to twenty or thirty attendees, mostly farmers with little formal education.

He was tempted to cut back on his sermon preparation during this early phase of his ministry. It was a small church, after all, and his congregation probably wouldn’t notice if he put less than his best into his messages. The Lord challenged him to look at things differently:

“But every time I was tempted to wing it, every time I considered pulling an outline out of one of those mail-order sermon outline catalogs, I felt like God was saying, ‘Charles, don’t prepare with just this audience in mind. You prepare for the future. Prepare as if you were speaking to thousands of people, not dozens.’ So that’s exactly what I did.”

We should be faithful in “little” things, believing God is always preparing us for greater opportunities and responsibilities.

*Note: I am quoting Andy Stanley’s book here (which was a good read). Please do not interpret this as a wholesale endorsement of his ministry or doctrine.

Advice for Engaged Couples

I’ve had a few people ask if I plan to write a book about married life. My answer is always the same: “At this point I don’t think I’m qualified.”

Let me clarify: Mare Cris and I have been married for four months as of today. I believe we have gotten off to a great start, and we do offer advice to both singles and married people who seek our help.

But we are still newlyweds, and How to Stay Married for Four Months probably wouldn’t be a very impressive book title.

Having said all this, I would like to offer some advice to engaged couples:

Talk About the “Big Three”: Money, Sex, and Family

These three issues probably cause more conflict (and separation/divorce) than anything else, so be sure you discuss them ahead of time. Please don’t assume they’ll just work themselves out without a plan.

Money

Remember that marriage is two people becoming one. You’ll need to erase the terms “my money” or “your money” from your vocabulary: it’s our money once you are married. Who makes it (or makes more of it) is completely irrelevant.

You and your future spouse will need to discuss how you will spend your money. Once you are married (not before) you should to combine your assets and work as a team. Each month you’ll need to decide what you’ll spend, save, and give. The husband and wife should each have a “vote” in the plan. Once you agree to the budget you stick to it—any emergency changes in spending have to be discussed and agreed upon.

I’m a big fan of Dave Ramsey, and his The Total Money Makeover book was very helpful for us in handling money.

Sex

You need to be 100% honest in discussing any “baggage” you may be bringing into the marriage. You don’t have to go into graphic details about your past, but you should disclose enough to give your fiancé a general understanding of what you’ve been through (past experiences, sexual abuse, etc.).

I’d highly recommend you read Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage together as way of preparing yourselves for sexual intimacy.

Family

Marriage is also a merging of two families, so it’s important to talk about in-laws.

Start with this principle: your spouse will be your #1 family priority. Men, that means your wife (not momma) will be the most important woman in your life.

Here’s what the Bible says:

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 
-Genesis 2:24

It’s important (and biblical) to honor your parents and family members. But you also need to keep healthy boundaries and put your spouse’s welfare before anyone else’s.

So those are the “Big Three.” Be sure you talk about these issues extensively before you get married. Mare Cris and I did, and I believe it’s one of the reasons we’ve had a smooth transition from single life to married life.

Now on to other advice:

Get Advice from Happily Married, Christian Couples

Seek godly wisdom from those who have been there. This can include family members, church leaders, friends, or anyone else who qualifies.

Just be sure you are getting your advice from happily married couples that follow biblical principles. Others might just offer their advice, but be careful—they may speak from worldly wisdom or their own marital frustration (neither of which are helpful).

At this point I’ll bring up premarital counseling. Mare Cris and I never did this, but I believe most people should. Try to meet a few times with your pastor if at all possible.

Read Books

This is closely related to the previous point: learn from pastors and Christian authors who have been there.

Most of us spent countless hours studying for exams or earning degrees—shouldn’t you invest some of your time studying how to be a good spouse?

We have read several books over the past few months. Here are a few we recommend in order of priority:

1. Love and Respect
2. The Five Love Languages
3. His Needs, Her Needs
4. When Sinners Say “I Do”
5. Sheet Music
 

I hope this post has helped those of you who are engaged or in a serious relationship.