Basta LoveLife: Making Wise Relationship Decisions

God blessed me with the opportunity to write Basta LoveLife: Making Wise Relationship Decisions in 2008.  Here’s how this book came about:

I moved to Manila in 2002 to become a campus minister.  A few years later I began doing sexual purity seminars on college campuses using True Love Waits material.  This aspect of my ministry grew beyond anything I would have imagined: I regularly spoke to hundreds of students each year.

I usually ended my seminar with book recommendations.  But there were a couple of issues:

*Most of the available books on sexual purity were simply imports from the USA. In other words, they were not written with the Filipino culture/context in mind.

*Most of the locally published books were written from a female perspective.

I saw the need for a book on sexual purity and relationship issues: one written specifically for Filipinos from the masculine perspective.  I had already been writing articles on this blog for a year or so, and I asked my readers if I should publish.  The responses were so encouraging!  More importantly, I sense that this is something the Lord wanted me to do.

Manila International Book Fair (2009)
Manila International Book Fair (2009)

I already had friends at Church Strengthening Ministry (CSM).  Fortunately, they were willing to take a chance on an unknown author.  We began working on the manuscript, and my friends thought of a catchy title.  The rest is history, as they say.  Basta LoveLife became one of CSM’s best sellers, and I still hear from students who have been blessed by the book.

To God be the glory!

Basta Lovelife at retail book stores and online at Lazada (search for the book title).

Love and Respect (Book Review)

One book I recommend for engaged/married couples is Love & Respect, written by Emerson Eggerichs.

The premise of this book is pretty simple (quoted from the back cover of the book):

“A wife has one driving need—to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need—to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy.”

The author came to this conclusion while studying Ephesians 5:33: “Each of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” It is no mistake, he argues, that love and respect are specifically mentioned in Paul’s instructions on how husbands and wives should treat each other.

Why does the Bible spell it out this way? Because men and women need to be reminded of what the opposite sex most desperately needs. Men, for example, naturally think in terms of respect or disrespect. We don’t automatically think of our behaviors as loving or unloving. This, according to Eggerichs, can cause conflict in marriage. The first part of the book calls this the “crazy cycle”—he responds to her in an unloving way, and she in turn responds disrespectfully. The cycle will continue on a downward spiral unless the couple changes their attitudes and behaviors.

The second part of the book teaches men and women to initiate the “energizing cycle”—the way a healthy marriage should work. There are chapters for both men and women, which I found very helpful. I learned a great deal about the needs of my wife, and I often nodded in agreement while reading the chapters explaining the male perspective.

We found this book to be helpful, but we also recognize it’s not the Bible.

Those in the States can buy this book through Amazon.com (link/picture below).

The copy I read was published here in the Philippines by Church Strengthening Ministry (the same great folks who publish my books).