Author: Kevin

I am a follower of Jesus, husband, pastor, author, and caffeine addict. Please follow me on Facebook or Twitter. You may also want to consider subscribing to the RSS feed.

IIIa. Making Wise Decisions: Wrong Approach #1

This is the first in a series of articles on Wrong Approaches/Attitudes in Decision Making.

Wrong Approach #1 Matigas Ang Ulo Ko (I am hard-headed)
A person with this attitude simply says “I will do what I want” or “I will get what I want,” regardless of what God is saying.

Most of us have struggled with this attitude at some point in our life. Deep in our hearts we know what God is asking us to do, but we have a different agenda.

One example of this attitude can be found in 1st Samuel, chapter 8. The Prophet Samuel was getting old and the Israelites did not trust God to provide another leader. They demanded to have an earthly king so they could be like other surrounding nations. God Himself wanted to be their king, but they would not listen. Here is God’s reply to Samuel:

The LORD answered:
Samuel, do everything they want you to do. I am really the one they have rejected as their king. Ever since the day I rescued my people from Egypt, they have turned from me to worship idols. Now they are turning away from you. Do everything they ask, but warn them and tell them how a king will treat them.
-1st Samuel 8:7-9 (CEV)

God allowed their request because they were hard-headed. In the same way, He will not force us to make the right choice. He will guide us and even warn us, but its up to us to make the right decision.

What happens when we are hard-headed?

When we are hard-headed, we end up with something less than God’s best for us. This is what happened to Israel. The Nation of Israel was divided after King Solomon died. Most of the kings led them into wickedness.

We can be sure that God is always acting in our best interest. Listen to Him and follow Him when He tells you to do something. I promise that you will never regret obeying God!

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you and watch over you.
Do not be like the horse or the mule,
which have no understanding
but must be controlled by bit and bridle
or they will not come to you.
-Psalm 32:8-9 (NIV)

Beware of what You Wear


A few days ago I noticed a particular young woman on campus. What made her stand out from the others? Unfortunately, it was the way she was dressed. Her jeans were incredibly LOW.  I simply could not look her way without staring at her lower ababdomen. To be honest, it was not easy to force myself to look the other direction.

One of the steps to purity that I teach students is to Beware of What You Wear.

Ladies, you need to understand something about men. We men are strongly attracted or “turned on” sexually by what we see with our eyes. Visual stimulation affects us men much more intensely than it affects you. Every man is like this—it is simply the way we are wired.

You need to keep this fact in mind when choosing your clothes. It is a sin for a man to look lustfully at a woman. We men are responsible for our own thoughts, but you can help us avoid this sin by dressing modestly. Let me give you a few practical hints:

Avoid Jeans that are Too Low. The modern fashion trend is to wear low-cut jeans, often along with a t-shirt that exposes the lower belly. Men’s eyes are drawn to this exposed skin, plain and simple. If you expose your lower abdomen, that’s where a man will naturally look. Don’t wear jeans that are too low. I’m not going to give you a definition for “too low.” Just remember this—the lower your jeans, the less modest they are.

Avoid Shorts/Skirts that are too Short. Legs are also a major “turn-on” for guys. Again, I’m not going to give you a definition for what is “too short” in a skirt. Just remember that the shorter the skirt/shorts, the less modest they are.

The Sitting Test. When you try on a skirt in a dressing room, be sure to also try sitting in it–see how it fits while you are in a sitting position (you may be exposing more than just your legs). This may not be a bad idea for jeans also. We’ve all seen someone sit down then spend half their time pulling on their jeans to hide their underwear.

I’m not saying that you have to walk around dressed like a nun. You can dress fashionably and attractively while being modest! I also understand that swimwear and some athletic wear are naturally more revealing than day-to-day clothes. I’m not promoting legalism—just common sense and self-respect.

Keep modesty in mind the next time you go shopping.

I would like for women to wear modest and sensible clothes. . .
-1st Timothy 2:9 (Contemporary English Version)

This is one of the many articles that you’ll find in my book: Basta Lovelife: Making Wise Relationship Decisions.