Author: Kevin

I am a follower of Jesus, husband, pastor, author, and caffeine addict. Please follow me on Facebook or Twitter. You may also want to consider subscribing to the RSS feed.

For Men: What Kind of Man are You?


“These are the years when a man changes into the man he’s going to become the rest of his life. Just be careful who you change into.”
–Uncle Ben’s advice to a teenage Peter Parker in Spiderman

This is probably one of my all-time favorite lines in a movie. There’s a lot of truth to it.

A few weeks ago I had a good talk with some young men at a nearby college. We spent a lot of time talking about vices such as drinking and smoking. We also talked about women and lust. The advice I gave them was similar to Uncle Ben’s advice to Peter. It went something like this:

Don’t think that you are somehow going to magically change as you get older. If you have poor character as a young man, you’ll probably have poor character as a grown man.

Let’s think about this for a while. I think most of you want to become responsible, loving fathers. You also want to be faithful, caring husbands. So here’s my question: how do you treat women right now? Do you treat them with respect or do you treat them as sex objects? Are you honest with women or are you a “two-timer?” Now is the time to learn how to be respectful, honest and faithful towards women.

Please do not think that you will suddenly change just because you reach a certain age. Turning 25, 30, or 40 will not necessarily change your character. You will not suddenly change from a babaero (womanizer) into “husband material.” Good character comes from making the right choices, not from getting older.

The Apostle Paul gave this advice to Timothy, his young disciple:
Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.
-1st Timothy 4:12 (New Living Translation)

Paul challenged Timothy live a pure life while he was still young. He challenged him to be an example to everyone, even for those who are older.

Learn to have integrity and self-control now while you are young. You are developing patterns (good or bad) that will be with you for the rest of your life. You are becoming the man you will be for the rest of your life.

Don’t let the excitement of youth cause you to forget your Creator. Honor him in your youth before you grow old and say, “Life is not pleasant anymore.”
-Ecclesiastes 12:1 (NLT)

This is one of the many articles that you’ll find in my book: Basta Lovelife: Making Wise Relationship Decisions.

IIId. Making Wise Decisions: Wrong Approach #4

Wrong Approach #4: Fearful Approach

Previously I have mentioned that we are just plain stubborn at times. Well, sometimes we are just plain afraid. I want to talk about two of the fears that many people experience when trying to make a decision.

Fear of the Future. Sometimes we try to imagine every possible outcome of a certain decision. Thinking ahead is actually a good thing, but it can be overdone. Some have called this the “paralysis of analysis.” We have a tendency to want too much information from God about the future.

Fear of Failure. Sometimes we are so afraid of failing that we will not take risks. We are afraid that our efforts will not succeed or that we will be rejected. This fear can be absolutely paralyzing.

What Does God Say About This Approach? The Bible commands us to live by faith, not fear.

We should not fear the future because God will be with us!

Lets consider God’s commandment to Joshua. Joshua was given the task of leading God’s people after the death of Moses. Here’s what God said:

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.
–Joshua 1:9 (NIV)

God never promised that everything would be easy, but he did promise that He would be with Joshua. He repeats the command to “be courageous” three times in this chapter. In the same way, Jesus promises that “surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age” (Matthew 28:20). Whatever challenge awaits us, we can be sure that God will be there with us.

We should not fear failure because God does not require “success.” God requires obedience and faithfulness, not success!

I will give you an example from Matthew 10. Jesus sent out His disciples to preach. He gave them specific instructions for those who would not receive the message:

If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town.
–Matthew 10:14 (NIV)

Jesus told them that they would not be 100% “successful”–some would reject the message. Their task was to faithfully proclaim the message and leave the results up to God.

The same principle applies to our lives. If we are obedient and faithful, then we are “successful” in God’s eyes. This truth has set me free! All I have to do is obey and leave the results up to God. If something does not work then at least I know that I have tried.

Live by faith, not by fear!

We live by faith, not by sight.
–2 Corinthians 5:7 (NIV)

My next sermon on this topic will be on Sunday December 10th, 2:00 p.m. at Convergence Fellowship. We worship at the Joshua Center (6th floor) which is located on Taft Ave (across from PGH). I’ll post more articles on this specific topic after I’ve preached on the 10th.