Author: Kevin

I am a follower of Jesus, husband, pastor, author, and caffeine addict. Please follow me on Facebook or Twitter. You may also want to consider subscribing to the RSS feed.

I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye (Josh Harris)

It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything related to love, dating, sexual purity or relationship issues in general. These topics were once the primary focus of my blog (and led to the publication of two books).

My life is much different than it was during those first few years of blogging. I’m no longer a single missionary living in the “University Belt” of Manila, and I no longer meet hundreds of new college students every year through seminars.

My writing has changed along with my life. I post here less frequently these days, and most of my posts are either devotional thoughts or just updates about life events.

One thing hasn’t changed: questions about relationships are what bring most new visitors to this blog. I see it when I check the statistics (search queries, most popular posts, etc.). I still receive relationship questions from the Philippines and other parts of the world. I’m grateful that what I’ve shared is still helping people who want to honor God in their relationship choices.

I decided to re-visit this topic today after watching a TEDx video by Joshua Harris. For those who don’t know, he is the author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye, a book that has sold millions of copies.  Here’s the premise of the book:  Josh decided that dating was a completely flawed way to search for true love.  He committed himself to a different approach and shared his insights with the world.  For better or worse, his writing caused a shock wave in the Christian community.

I read I Kissed Dating Goodbye back in the early 2000’s. I thought Harris made some legitimate points about the mistakes young people were making when it comes to romantic relationships.  But some of his advice just didn’t seem practical or balanced to me, and I believe there are much better books out there (see: Top Three Christian Dating Books).

Perhaps the biggest issue with I Kissed Dating Goodbye was not the book itself, but the way some believers applied it.  I have encountered some that act as though a 21-year-old wrote an inerrant, universal guide for love, sex, and dating.

It’s now been 20 years since Josh’s revolutionary book was published, and the man who once wrote off dating has been re-thinking his position in a very public (and courageous) manner.  He’s been listening to those who were both helped and hurt by his book.  He’s now planning to make a documentary based on this experience called I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye.

My Son and the Voice of God

Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.

-Jeremiah 33:3

Those of you who follow me on Facebook or Twitter know that my wife and I received some exciting news yesterday: we are going to have a baby boy!

We weren’t 100% sure we would find out during yesterday’s ultrasound. We’ve heard of babies being “shy”–being in a position that was not conducive to determining the gender. That was not a problem–the proverbial cat was out of the bag as soon as the technician placed the instrument on my wife’s tummy. It was only a split second, but let’s just say the first image didn’t leave much to the imagination. She quickly changed the scanner position and asked us if we wanted to know the gender of the baby. We told her we’d been waiting for this day and did want to know. More images confirmed what we thought we had seen.

I mentioned a promise that God gave us from His word in a previous post. I wrote down this verse in my prayer journal before my wife got pregnant:

Your wife will be like a fruitful vine
within your house;
your children will be like olive shoots
around your table.

-Psalm 128:3

 

But there’s a secret of sorts that I’ve only shared with one or two people (one of those being my wife): God told me weeks ago that we were having a son. I don’t think I can pin it down to a specific date, though I wrote it in my prayer journal back in July. It’s something God impressed on my heart as I was praying for a healthy baby. That impression never left me–it grew stronger over time.

God tends to do that when He’s speaking to me. He knows I’d be likely to doubt a one-time experience, so He slowly and methodically puts something on my heart. This is the way God told me He wanted me to preach. It’s impossible to explain for those who haven’t experienced it. But I’m sure many of you know exactly what I’m talking about.

I’ve waited to share this for a couple of reasons:

  • I didn’t want to give anyone the impression that my heart was set on a boy instead of a girl.   My main desire was (and still is) for a healthy baby. I would have been 100% fine with a boy or a girl–either one would be treated as a precious gift from the Lord, created in His image.
  • I trust the Lord, but I don’t trust me. I know that I’m capable of misunderstanding Him (it has happened before). And let’s be honest: some Christians can get really weird with those “the Lord told me” statements.

The most important things God has to say to me are already written in His Word–the Bible. Any experience I have must line up with the truths of Scripture or it isn’t from the Lord.

Having said that, I treasure those times when I hear God speaking to me or leading me regarding something specific in my life. It is another way that He expresses grace (undeserved favor) to me.

God has spoken, and God is speaking.

Are you listening?