Student: “Isn’t love all that matters?”
Kuya Kevin: “Only in fairy tales.”
These two text messages were part of my cell phone “conversation” with a student. This young woman had a boyfriend whose parents strongly objected to their relationship (long story, but suffice to say that his parents would probably never accept her). She wanted to know if their was any hope for their relationship.
I don’t “sugar coat” my words, especially when it comes to pastoral advice/counseling. False hope is a curse, not a blessing. I told her that her boyfriend would simply have to decide if he was willing to deal with his parents’ objections. I know she wanted to hear something more from me, but that was all I could honestly tell her. There was really no right or wrong answer, just choices and consequences.
We were able to meet in person a few days later. I elaborated on what I had communicated through text messaging. I reminded her that it is very difficult for a young man to go against his parents’ wishes, especially since he was still dependent on them (he is also still a student). I did give her some encouragement, assuring her that life would go on if the relationship ended.
This interaction reminded me of a myth that I’ve been meaning to write about:
Love conquers all.
This notion sounds romantic. It is the subject of Shakespearean tragedies, romance novels, and soap operas. Unfortunately, it doesn’t prove true for real life.
There are some issues that being “in love” may never resolve. Family problems, opposing life goals, addiction, different religious beliefs–these are just a few examples of potential relationship killers.
Here is my primary concern: many young people make the mistake of ignoring such problems. “Love conquers all,” they say, and they avoid difficult conversations and choices. Don’t make this mistake. If you are considering a relationship, be 100% honest–eyes wide open. Honestly discuss everything before you get too committed or emotionally involved.
Romeo and juliet 1968
is my favorite movie of all time pal.
this is some blog, promising.
can we link each other up?
hi kuya kevin….remember me?…butchoy?…. I believe in the notion that loves conquers all…well it is true for me at least…Well you know my story…if you don’t remember…I love a girl for 3 years now…my family don’t like and I’m still pursuing her, and at first her family doesn’t like me as well…but time passes and her family finally liked me…but my family still don’t like her… basta…long story…
by the way visit my blog too… I publish some Christian poems too..:)
Kuya kevin,
yeah.. I definitely agree with you that love conquers all.. and this line is also what my mom told me “If you are considering a relationship, be 100% honest–eyes wide open. Honestly discuss everything before you get too committed or emotionally involved”. I hope that the woman considered your advice as a right thing to do.
Thanks for reading guys.
Butchoy, love can overcome some obstacles, but not all.
I definitely agree with you.. Actually, what you have said, “If you are considering a relationship, be 100% honest–eyes wide open. Honestly discuss everything before you get too committed or emotionally involved.” This is what my mom always remind me of. I’ve been to ups and down relationship as well. I have learned that we must first know how to love ourselves. Then, that’s the only time we can give love to others. Also, I know God has plans.. and I don’t want to run ahead of Him. I have to wait..