“Tumaba ka (you’ve gotten fat). Pumayat ka (you’ve gotten skinny).”
Live in the Philippines for a while and you will hear these words. My missionary mentor noticed that his Filipino friends/associates would frequently update him on the perceived status of his weight (especially after returning from furlough in the States). He affectionately called this the “fat report.”
This is an interesting dichotomy in Filipino culture. I’ll explain.
Filipinos are incredibly polite–so polite that they are often indirect in their communication. Filipinos, for example, are unlikely to give you a direct “no” if you invite them to something. You may hear something like “we’ll try,” which really means “we’ll come if there’s a snowball fight in Manila.” A Filipino might not show you a mistake that you’ve made—he/she would rather not embarrass you, and would hope that you realize it on your own. Being too direct can be interpreted as rude here.
The opposite, however, seems to be true when it comes to comments on one’s physical appearance. A few years back I developed a pimple on my forehead. It seemed that everyone I met felt the need to call my attention to the blemish, as if I needed to have emergency plastic surgery to have it removed. After a few comments I was ready print my own t-shirt logo: I KNOW I HAVE A PIMPLE. DON’T PANIC, IT WILL BE GONE IN A FEW DAYS.
This is particularly evident when it comes to the words “fat” and “skinny.” It has taken me some time to get used to hearing these words used so loosely. In America, you just don’t call someone “fat,” especially a woman. Calling a woman fat is essentially a declaration of war. Here in the Philippines it is completely different—commenting on someone’s weight is done just as casually as one would comment on a new set of earrings.
I’ve learned a couple of things that have helped me better understand the “fat” and “skinny” labels.
First, the “fat” term is a bit ambiguous. Any type of perceived increase in body mass is called “fat,” even if the individual has not gained bodyfat. I spent my first summer break (April/May) in Antipolo for language school. There was plenty of food around and I had some good weightlifting sessions. I put on a few pounds of “good weight” (mostly muscle) as a result. I frequently heard “tumaba ka” (you’ve gotten fat) when I returned to campus. Some of the students made gestures to imply that I had gotten “fat” through my chest and shoulders.
Secondly, the “fat report” is very subjective. A couple of weeks ago a friend told me I looked thinner. A couple of days ago someone told me I’ve gotten fat. Call me crazy, but I don’t think I’ve gained weight in two weeks. It seems there is a strong cultural compulsion to comment on a friend’s physical appearance, regardless of how accurate or inaccurate the perception may be.
I feel very blessed with the body that God has given me, so I’m not sensitive about this issue. I do, however, take a closer look in the mirror if I start hearing several “fat” comments. I don’t mind having a little extra encouragement to avoid developing the “Baptist preacher midsection.” That “encouragement” will always be present here. As long as I live in Manila, I can count on hearing the “fat report” on a regular basis.
My friends and I talked about this article. We all felt that the “Fat/Thin Report” is actually a way of breaking the ice for most filipinos, especially if you have not seen the person for quite a while. A convesrsation will usually roll up after this comment. No wonder, other people would say “pumuyat ka” while other would say “uy tumaba ka” even if you know for a fact that nothing has changed – we all agree it only means “kwentuhan tayo”. 🙂
Thanks for the comment 🙂
This is a great entry! It’s a good insight as to how “fat” is seen in the Philippines. Is it okay to reprint your post in the ISAA blog? I will of course indicate that you are the author and link back to your blog.
Sure, feel free to copy and paste! Blessings!
hahaha…this is such a funny yet perceptive commentary about pinoys penchant to comment about one’s “perceived” weight change casually. (a definite social faux pas in the US of A)… very informative,definitely entertaining…I was literally in stitches!
Thanks for reading 🙂
haha, i am always so intrigued by your observations of the filipino culture…because they are so right on. 🙂
i agree with adrian too i do think it’s an icebreaker in a weird way – i think you are expected to comment back , like “talaga? dami ko ngang kinain kahapon” or “ah, tumaba nga ako eh” in response to the question “pumayat ka ba?”
hope everything’s well. 🙂
This is my favorite topic to discuss about, just imagine me to go back to the Philippines someday and you tell me: pumayat ka!! lol that will never happen so stop dreaming! If you call a woman fat here in the States, you will be in a big trouble so I suggest you to use the words like: Ma’am you look stronger than ever! hehehe, This message is from your little friend BEN.
I love reading your observations too on the Philippine culture. 🙂
Everytime I see a person of your race.. I always remember your post with this statement: HEY JOE, WHY ARE YOU SO WHITE?
And I always smile 😀
-jes
I agree with Adrian, Kuya Kevin. In here, it’s a way to open a conversation. I actually have not noticed this until you mentioned it. It’s like the “What’s up, dude” line in the US.
Oh, I remember. Whenever you try this as icebreaker to a lady, always lie. Tell her “Uy, pumayat ka!” You’ll almost always get a smile 😉
Yep, we tend not to notice Things within our own culture 🙂
nakakatuwa naman na ang Philippine culture ay maganda sa pananaw nyo…at nalaman ko po ang kaibahan ng attitude (culture) sa ibang bansa na most of Pinoy po ay polite 🙂 pwede po bang copy ko ito sa forum sa friendster 🙂
You can copy it ONLY IF you give full credit to me and mention KUYAKEVIN.COM
I think kuya Kevin i will copy it too in facebook..of course i give full credit to you and i mention KUYAKEVIN.COM