A few days ago I noticed a particular young woman on campus. What made her stand out from the others? Unfortunately, it was the way she was dressed. Her jeans were incredibly LOW. I simply could not look her way without staring at her lower ababdomen. To be honest, it was not easy to force myself to look the other direction.
One of the steps to purity that I teach students is to Beware of What You Wear.
Ladies, you need to understand something about men. We men are strongly attracted or “turned on” sexually by what we see with our eyes. Visual stimulation affects us men much more intensely than it affects you. Every man is like this—it is simply the way we are wired.
You need to keep this fact in mind when choosing your clothes. It is a sin for a man to look lustfully at a woman. We men are responsible for our own thoughts, but you can help us avoid this sin by dressing modestly. Let me give you a few practical hints:
Avoid Jeans that are Too Low. The modern fashion trend is to wear low-cut jeans, often along with a t-shirt that exposes the lower belly. Men’s eyes are drawn to this exposed skin, plain and simple. If you expose your lower abdomen, that’s where a man will naturally look. Don’t wear jeans that are too low. I’m not going to give you a definition for “too low.” Just remember this—the lower your jeans, the less modest they are.
Avoid Shorts/Skirts that are too Short. Legs are also a major “turn-on” for guys. Again, I’m not going to give you a definition for what is “too short” in a skirt. Just remember that the shorter the skirt/shorts, the less modest they are.
The Sitting Test. When you try on a skirt in a dressing room, be sure to also try sitting in it–see how it fits while you are in a sitting position (you may be exposing more than just your legs). This may not be a bad idea for jeans also. We’ve all seen someone sit down then spend half their time pulling on their jeans to hide their underwear.
I’m not saying that you have to walk around dressed like a nun. You can dress fashionably and attractively while being modest! I also understand that swimwear and some athletic wear are naturally more revealing than day-to-day clothes. I’m not promoting legalism—just common sense and self-respect.
Keep modesty in mind the next time you go shopping.
I would like for women to wear modest and sensible clothes. . .
-1st Timothy 2:9 (Contemporary English Version)
This is one of the many articles that you’ll find in my book: Basta Lovelife: Making Wise Relationship Decisions.
K.Kevin, women can also be “turned on” easily with what we see in men (or am I the only one?)-can I add some “Beware of what you wear:for men?”-like avoid jeans that are too tight (even if you’re a rock star),or too low (even if you’re a hip hop artist). It’s sure hot in the Philippines-but avoid being shirtless in public. With sleeveless, formfitting clothes – hmm, i don’t know, same for us women, it can be inappropriate only in certain places. Like your pic with that black tank top looks just fine here, but it could be a head turner in a church setting-which reminds me, I need to be appropriate for tomorrow’s worship 🙂 Thanks for the head start. Have a blessed Sunday!
Great comments–good to hear a woman’s perspective on this issue. Blessings!
BTW,WATSUP BRO. I BELIEVE WE’VE MET AT FULLCUP. ANYHOW IL LINK YA TO MY BLOG http://www.thejesusrocker.blogdrive.com
AND U MAY DO THE SAME IF YOU LIKE.GR8 BLOG.GOD BLESS
Yes, we have! Hope you are having a blessed day and thanks for the comments!
Kuya Kev,
Your honesty is helpful. Keep ’em coming.
Melanie
i definitely agree onthis. minsan kaya nagkakasala ang tao dahil sa pinapakita ng ibang tao… thourgh we should exercise self control diba 🙂 God bless po! kuya kevin can you PM me your contact info sa kkbmovement.org so that mabigay ko sa USBC president namin para magkaron ng activities sa psa manila this coming school yr… ako kasi outging president doon.. God bless po :)- akoposikarensantiago
Karen,
The easiest way to contact me know is through email.
hi kuya kevin! It’s my first time to put a comment on a particular issue you had just posted though I always read a lot of your mesages here on your blog. I do agree on this particular issue. Just one question: Sino po ang unang nagpapauso ng ganitong mga kasuotan: yung mga very low waist pants or mini shorts/skirts for women? I think we’re just influenced by others, meaning, other people specially those who export clothes from other countries and import here in our country are the ones who influenced females to dress like that…you know…to look lustfull in the eyes of guys like you…I think that’s one factor kung bakit nagsusuot ang mga girls ng mga minis and tubes. One more thing, nakikita din naman nila ito sa mga sikat na models, both foreign and local, di ba?
I think Western influence is the reason that some women in the Philippines dress immodestly.
You are absolutely right Kevin. Well, add up the “glamourization” of sexiness and being a b****. Years ago, women do not like being labeled with the B word, but now it kind of gives an empowering meaning.
Again, influence of the media and celebrities.
i sooo agree with pumpernickle there…the things here that used to be unacceptable are now the ‘in’ thing.
Just one thing tho…some likes the attention they get from wearing ‘attention getter’ clothes so pagsinabi mo,, they get more attention wearing those and men can’t help it, they’d wear it more…so yun,..reverse effect.
Nice topic.
The entertainment industry does have an influence on the types of clothes we wear. If we see racy and sexy fashions on tv and in movies, we seem to think it’s ok to wear this stuff in real life.
i agree , celebrities have a great influence for the people especially the teenagers,,,,but one more thing,8 depends on the invidual outlook of a person, whatever style or fashion it is, we are the boss of ourselves, we should think many times on how it affects on our opposite sex..if we have respect in ourselves be formal……..
hi Kuya,
just wanted to add…it’s more than the clothes as well. Sometimes, it’s the “sexy in me” mindset (like the way they walk, hold their bags & glance) that attracts men to look at the women lustfully. Even if the woman is in a button down shirt, but walks very foxy (if that’s the term and hope you understand what i mean), then it also sends a different signal. If a girl’s heart and mind are very pure and innocent, even if she wears spaghetti strap tops, she’ll still look modest. But, in reality, this is not the case all the time.
Hope this helps…
Michelle,
In all honesty, I think you are starting to make things a little too complicated.