For Men: What Kind of Man are You?

“These are the years when a man changes into the man he’s going to become the rest of his life. Just be careful who you change into.”
–Uncle Ben’s advice to a teenage Peter Parker in Spiderman

This is probably one of my all-time favorite lines in a movie. There’s a lot of truth to it.

A few weeks ago I had a good talk with some young men at a nearby college. We spent a lot of time talking about vices such as drinking and smoking. We also talked about women and lust. The advice I gave them was similar to Uncle Ben’s advice to Peter. It went something like this:

Don’t think that you are somehow going to magically change as you get older. If you have poor character as a young man, you’ll probably have poor character as a grown man.

Let’s think about this for a while. I think most of you want to become responsible, loving fathers. You also want to be faithful, caring husbands. So here’s my question: how do you treat women right now? Do you treat them with respect or do you treat them as sex objects? Are you honest with women or are you a “two-timer?” Now is the time to learn how to be respectful, honest and faithful towards women.

Please do not think that you will suddenly change just because you reach a certain age. Turning 25, 30, or 40 will not necessarily change your character. You will not suddenly change from a babaero (womanizer) into “husband material.” Good character comes from making the right choices, not from getting older.

The Apostle Paul gave this advice to Timothy, his young disciple:
Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.
-1st Timothy 4:12 (New Living Translation)

Paul challenged Timothy live a pure life while he was still young. He challenged him to be an example to everyone, even for those who are older.

Learn to have integrity and self-control now while you are young. You are developing patterns (good or bad) that will be with you for the rest of your life. You are becoming the man you will be for the rest of your life.

Don’t let the excitement of youth cause you to forget your Creator. Honor him in your youth before you grow old and say, “Life is not pleasant anymore.”
-Ecclesiastes 12:1 (NLT)

This is one of the many articles that you’ll find in my book: Basta Lovelife: Making Wise Relationship Decisions.