Category: Abstinence

Dangers of Premarital Sex

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted anything about premarital sex.  Maybe part of the reason is I’ve been more interested in reading and writing about married life.  The emphasis of my ministry has also changed since moving here to Angeles City (I don’t spend quite as much time with students as I used to).

But there’s another significant reason for the lack of new posts:  I just haven’t thought of anything new to say about this topic.

Today I decided to remind everyone of some of the consequences of sexual immorality by referring to articles I’ve written before:

There are physical consequences, like unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (herpes, HPV, etc).

But I usually spend most of my time writing about the emotional/spiritual consequences of premarital sex:

Regret:  having to live with things you can never go back and change.

Emotional Baggage:  damage from previous mistakes being brought into your future marriage.

False Intimacy: a false sense that your relationship is actually better than it really is.

The Downward Spiral:  Setting yourself up for future mistakes.

God’s solution to avoiding these consequences is simple: you have to avoid sexual temptation the same way you would a hand grenade.  Think about the consequences before you act and you’ll save yourself from a great deal of suffering.

Note to my readers in the Philippines: please read Basta LoveLife if you’d like to learn more about this topic.

Marital Sex: Intimacy God’s Way

The Only Picture From Our Honeymoon

For years I’ve been writing and speaking about the dangers of premarital sex and other forms of sexual immorality. I was a single campus minister, and I believe this gave me a special empathy for singles struggling to stay pure in our X-rated world.

But now I’d like to share my perspective as a married man. I have experienced sexual intimacy as God intended, and words can hardly express what a blessing it is. Sex is a wonderful gift when it is expressed within the marriage covenant!

Here are three blessings of marital sex:

No Guilt

Many students and singles have contacted me after falling into some form of sexual immorality. All of them have expressed guilt, shame and regret over their choices. Sexual immorality seems to have its own unique brand of crippling emotional consequences.

But sex within marriage has no guilt—zero. Regret simply isn’t part of the equation when a husband and wife enjoy sexual intimacy.

No Danger

The consequences of sexual sin don’t always stop with the emotional (as if that isn’t enough). There are often physical consequences, such as an unwanted pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease (my second book, Learning the Hard Way, has several testimonies of broken hearts and lives).

My wife and I don’t have to worry about any of these issues. We are planning to wait a while before starting a family. But an unexpected pregnancy would not mean an unwanted pregnancy. Our child (and my wife) will enjoy the security of an intact family.

There’s also no danger of sexually transmitted diseases because we are faithful to each other.

Emotional/Spiritual Fulfillment

The Bible describes sex as a “one flesh” bond. You simply can’t reduce it to an inconsequential physical exchange. God designed sex to be a meaningful and precious component of married life.

My sexual partner is my life partner, and I can’t imagine it any other way. Pleasing each other is part of a much bigger picture—each experience is a joyful step in our lifelong journey together. The profound implications of this “one flesh” union go beyond our personal satisfaction. Sexual intimacy within marriage actually brings glory to God. We can rejoice in knowing God Himself delights in our love!

I’ll conclude with this encouragement:
Don’t settle for cheap counterfeits. Sex as God intended is worth waiting for.

Note:  I’d highly recommend engaged/married couples check out the book entitled Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage