Pastor Kevin Sanders

"He must increase, but I must decrease." -John 3:30

White Soap and Compromise

I was amused when Mare Cris told me she didn’t care for the yellow bar of soap that I always used in the shower.  “Who cares what color the soap is?” I asked.  She told me it clashed with the colors of the bathroom (it’s a girl thing).  More importantly, she wanted me to start using Johnson’s Baby Soap because she liked the color (white) and the scent.

I now use the soap she prefers, and I often hear my wife say, “ang bango mo (you smell so good)” after I step out of the shower.  This subtle change in my life was a no-brainer: I could care less what brand of soap I use, but it meant a lot to her.

You may be wondering why I’m taking time to write about personal hygiene.

Here’s my point:  I believe successfully married couples have learned the art of compromise, also known as give-and-take. Be prepared for this if you plan to get married.

Sometimes the adjustments are easily made, like the example I’ve just mentioned.  But neither the husband nor the wife can (or should) get his/her way every time.  My wife and I are still working on this balance, and so far we are enjoying the journey.

I’ll give you another example:  The author of His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage recommends couples spend most of their recreational time together.  My wife has begun to take interest in some of my hobbies, like training in the gym and watching mixed martial arts.

We’ve only been married for two months, but I could easily think of other compromises and adjustments we have made.  I think one of the keys is an attitude of humility and service towards your spouse:  “Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves (Philippians 2:3).”

Marriage is a big adjustment, but it’s definitely worth it.


  1. This made me smile… Thanks for sharing kuya! I myself am excited to be spending my life together fith John… Four months from today! 🙂

    God bless! 🙂

  2. Thank you for this reminder Kuya Kevin. Keep on writing posts about Marriage. I would love to read.

Comments are closed.