Pastor Kevin Sanders

"He must increase, but I must decrease." -John 3:30

Stubborn Love (Encouragement for Singles)

A while back I shared our love story–how Mare Cris and I met and fell in love. Words can hardly express just how happy I am right now.  I’ve only been married a month (as of today), but I can’t imagine life without her.

But there’s another part of the story I haven’t shared. I left it out before because I didn’t want to take the focus off my relationship with my beautiful wife (fiancée at the time of the post).

Here it is:
I went through one of the most difficult seasons of my life before meeting Cris. I experienced two failed relationships within a period of about twelve months. A couple of those months were especially dark, lonely times for me.

Some of these personal issues happened while God was doing some amazing things in my ministry. It was ironic to say the least: ministry had never been better, but I was privately hurting—very deeply at times. Go figure.

The irony, of course, doesn’t stop there. I have written two books about love, yet that season of my own love life seemed to more closely resemble a nightmare than a fairytale.

Perhaps you can relate to some of these emotions I’ve described. Maybe your love life hasn’t turned out as you planned. If so, finding love may require tenacity on your part. You may have to be just plain stubborn about not giving up, regardless of how many times people let you down. 

I could have responded differently when Cris came into my life. I could have chosen not to pursue her, thus protecting myself from another potential disappointment. I could have allowed past hurts to keep me from experiencing her love. Opening my heart once again was, after all, a considerable risk. But I chose to believe God might just have something great in store for me this time.

The Bible never promises a life free of pain—physical or emotional. But we Christians, empowered by the Holy Spirit and with Jesus by our side, always have the choice to move forward with a sense of profound optimism about love and life.

I like the way Proverbs 24:16 puts it: “The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again.”

I’m so grateful I chose the way of stubborn love. I hope you will, too.

Trust God, and don’t give up on love.

“Be prepared at all times for the gifts of God and be ready always for new ones. For God is a thousand times more ready to give than we are to receive.” -Meister Eckhart


  1. Hi Kuya Kevin, I could relate with half of your story. My ministry is at it’s best today but I am so much hurting because of this girl who happens to be one of my church-mates and my co-worker in the ministry. I have loved her for almost 5 years but she didn’t loved back now I have to let her go because she still loves her ex and if there would be someone who will replace him in her life, the standard would still be her “ex”… which I am not. I’m different. I know I should not risk ruining our relationship in church and in the ministry because of this. It’s just hard to treat her normally like before. Just to see her bruises my heart because now all hope is lost that I will never have her as my wife. But the outcome of my story is still yet to unfold. I pray Christ would strengthen me to endure all these pains for the sake of obeying Him and doing His work.

  2. Kaloy hang in there and don’t give up. I experienced many frustrations as a single man and sometimes I wondered if I’d ever find the right woman for me.

    One thing I would advise–next time don’t invest so much of yourself in someone unless you know she is committed to you.

  3. Hi Kuya Kevin,
    Thanks so much for this post. My love life hasn’t been opening doors for me of late. I don’t mind being single, it’s just that sometimes it kinda makes me wonder where the guy I’m supposed to be with right now is, hehe. I’m gonna turn 29 this year and this age comes with a lot of questions from people who hasn’t grown tired of asking when I’m gonna get married. If I were a guy, my singleness would probably have meant or mean nothing to them but being close to thirty and still single makes me feel like what I believe in (that it’s okay to be single) sucks. Hihi.

    But again, thanks for the post. This is just what I need. God Bless you and your wife more. ^^

  4. Hi Kuya Kevin!

    Thank you for sharing your life. I am sure a lot of singles out there can relate to your experience. Me too I also have a painful past that I wanna forget. I almost gave up but God used that past for me to minister to the single people I knew. Welcome to the world of married life Kuya Kevin. A happy married life.

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