Pastor Kevin Sanders

"He must increase, but I must decrease." -John 3:30

The Two Types of Men (Part 2)

Part Two: Observations of a Protector

I greatly appreciate all your comments re: The Two Types of Men.

I’d like to ad a few more thoughts to this discussion.

It seems some of you are discouraged with the number of “predator” men out there.  I understand your frustration, and I’m glad you feel like you can talk openly about it here.  But I also want to gently remind you of a few important truths.

While protectors are rare, women who wait for protectors are also rare.  Sooner or later, every woman learns she can’t win with a predator.  The issue is the amount of time, energy, emotion, and intimacy she’ll waste before she comes to her senses.  A wise woman learns her lesson quickly, but many insist on learning the hard way.

It isn’t just the women who suffer when the predator “wins.”  The protector suffers as well.  He is not blessed when women invite jerks into their hearts (and beds).

Remember, it is your responsibility to choose wisely.  You can’t blame others if you settle for the wrong kind of man.

Choose wisely, my sisters!


  1. take hundred percent responsibility of the decision you always made. i won’t complain nor blame if i failed of something or person. there are more women who were stubborn to accept the truth of: failure.

  2. The protector suffers as well. He is not blessed when women invite jerks into their hearts (and beds).

    Can you please explain this one further? How does the protector suffer when a woman entertain ‘predators’?

  3. Well, it basically means the jerk gets chosen instead of the protector.

  4. nice info kuya kevin. i would like to comment on this.

    ‘predators’ are what you called the wolf in a sheeps clothing. nuff said.

  5. Well, the protectors get the best though Kevin because those who chooses the ‘protectors’ are the wiser ones. Just that even the wiser women makes mistakes too sometimes but we learn.

  6. Thess,

    I agree.

    But sometimes the protector ends up having to deal with a lot of baggage and damage that he did not create (speaking from personal experience here). That’s my point I guess (though it may be bias).

  7. You’re right on that one.

  8. “Well, it basically means the jerk gets chosen instead of the protector.”

    Sounds like pride. When you think of it as a loss when the ‘predator’ gets chosen over you.

  9. Anonymous,

    Let’s not be ridiculous.

    My point is this: everyone loses when the predator gets chosen. The woman loses, and the nice guy loses. I don’t think that has anything to do with pride.

  10. What about in instances when a good woman chooses a ‘protector’ but the ‘protector’ chose to chase a woman who prefers to pursue a ‘predator’? That happens too.

    The good woman wants the good guy but the good guy wants the pretty girl. This scars the good woman too because where else would she turn to if ‘even’ the ‘protector’ rejected her….and this happens a lot.

  11. Thess,

    Men make plenty of foolish choices, too–I agree.

    I’m simply speaking from my own perspective.


  12. sometimes, the predator doesn’t know any better, too. he’s as messed up as the girl who falls for him. but i sure want to meet more protectors!

  13. ..uhmmm..after the predator wins over a woman. moving on is the hardest thing to do..because after breaking up.all the negative things seem to come your way. kuya kevin, i wanna ask you something..what if a girl have given up your purity to a wrong guy. will she ever regain a pure love althought she’s not pure at all??

  14. Well, remember that you can still choose purity even if you have lost your virginity. You can choose to live purely from this day forward.

    And yes–there are plenty of people who’ve made mistakes but eventually found a Christ-centered relationship.

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