Pastor Kevin Sanders

"He must increase, but I must decrease." -John 3:30

Relationships: Thinking Long-Term

A young man recently approached me after one of my seminars.  He confessed to having two girlfriends, and asked if this is OK.

“Well, what do you want for your future?” I asked.  “Do you want to be happily married to one woman?  Do you want a family?”

“Yes,” he answered.

“Is having two girlfriends a good way to prepare for this?”

“No,” he quickly responded.

He got the point.  I sincerely hope he changed his behavior accordingly.

You may not be a two-timer, but perhaps you do have something in common with this young man: shortsightedness.

Some young people suffer from a “mental disconnect”—not associating their present relationship decisions with their long-term consequences.  This short-term mentality lends itself to many foolish choices—choices that will not bless one’s future spouse (such as premarital sex, immature relationships, MU’s, etc).

What about you?  Are your current decisions preparing you for a lifetime commitment of marriage?  Are you thinking long-term?

Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you;
love her, and she will watch over you.
-Proverbs 4:6



  1. i just wish that not only man but also woman should be contented in a certain commitment with only one person (gf or bf). i don’t understand why some people cross the bridge without thinking the possible consequences in the future.

  2. You only think short-term when you don’t take your relationship seriously.

    Thinking long-term is hard for some because it requires patience, caution, faith – it’s work.

    But then, it harvests long-term happiness too.

    Good post for men.

  3. for me..kapag may mahal k..hndi mo sya dapat cnasaktan…instead aalagaan mo ibbgay sa knya ang mga bagay n nkkpagppsaya sa knya..eventhough it means..”sacrifice”…that’s how true love goes..

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