Pastor Kevin Sanders

"He must increase, but I must decrease." -John 3:30

Study: Virgin Brides Have More Stable Marriages

Someone mentioned a study by the Heritage Foundation in a previous post. Here’s an excerpt:

A few years ago Robert Rector and Kirk Johnson of the Heritage Foundation did an analysis of the 1995 National Survey of Family Growth and found that for women 30 or older those who were monogamous (only one sexual partner in a lifetime) were by far most likely to be still in a stable relationship (80 percent). Sleeping with just one extra partner dropped that probability to 54 percent. Two extra partners brought it down to 44 percent. Who would have thought that the price of sleeping with even one partner would lead to divorce for almost half of those who had only one extra tryst?



You can read the whole article here: Virgins Make the Best Valentines



  1. this is true…we should know how to respect ourselves by not giving ourselves to anyone who told us that they love us though in fact it was just a lust mistook for love…i was just dumped today… you might asked why? and why im telling this and not ashamed of being dumped.. simple, he want to have a physical intimacy with me but i dont believe on it… in short, he dumped me coz i cant give what he needed..

    girls, be careful coz now adays they just love us girls in bed but not the real sense and meaning of love.. im not saying all men now a days but MOSTLY.. coz, dont forget we still have kuya kevin here who believe and continues to speak bout the value of virginity…

    thanks kuya kevin and more power^^

  2. very wise xandra!

    And…i got dumped too!

  3. virginity is important bt RESPECT is more esential…
    just like in my situation i got maried to a non-virgine gurl bt i did loved and respect her but then again we got separated she has fallen for some1 else… hehehe… bt im good i got my daughter still

    [email protected]

  4. Well for me I can say that anonymous said is true as long as you trust your partner its ok. And I agree also to Xandra about we guys love girls in bed, but for certain people its all just the same. But another “but” hehehe there’s really no enjoyment if you don’t love the person its just sex no passion.

  5. Anonymous,
    Thanks for posting. Just remember that sex within marriage is God’s standard.


  6. okey,i know guys would rather have a girl who is still virgin. my guy friend told me that its because its like chewing a bubblegum thats already from someones mouth.i understand.but how about the rape victims?

  7. Maria,

    In the case of rape, I believe a guy should be understanding. The woman, after all, was not even a willing participant–she was a victim of a violent crime.

    Consider this passage from Proverbs:

    “It is not fair to punish the innocent…” Proverbs 17:26

    In such cases, her husband would still be the first man she willingly had sex with.

  8. I would have to agree with this.

    Women who have had premarital sex do tend to exhibit Borderline Personality Disorder traits.

    Not to mention that there is a phenomenon wherein non-virgins who actually want to be monogamous have this unexplainable urge to be unfaithful..

    Nothing that Jesus and a good ol’ deliverance won’t cure, but still, I agree, play it safe, sex is best enjoyed in marriage!

    Blessings, Kevin!

  9. I’m not sure it is fair to say premarital sex causes borderline personality disorder traits.

    Regardless, we can agree that it is best to do things God’s way.

    Thanks for reading!!

  10. Kuya Kevin:

    Anything you wanna say for virgin grooms? lagi na lang virgin brides… wala bang virgin grooms ngayon?

  11. Well, despite rumors to the contrary we are not a completely extinct species 🙂

    But this study only surveyed women.

    I imagine if men were surveyed, similar results would be found–possibly even more dramatic. Maybe I’ll run across one of these studies one day.

  12. ….how about those victims of child abuse and lost their virginity because of that????

    …is it unfair for them???

    …I have a friend that can relate to this situation…and you know what???she’s so depress because that was not really her choice…

  13. It is the same thing as rape–she was an innocent victim. I think any reasonable man would understand this.

  14. but how about mens virginity?
    gils virginity is always a big deal for everyone..

  15. If you read my book or this website, you’ll see I have plenty to say to the men.

    It just happened that this particular study focused on brides.

  16. From experience I know now that I will never offer the honor of marriage to a woman who is not a virgin. A non-virgin’s heart will always be with her first love. All the others after the first only get a pale shadow of what is left of her heart. If you give a woman the first place in your life with such great control (marriage) never settle for less than #1 in her heart. You will never be #1 unless she gives her virginity to you. This is a God given fact no matter what anyone says (including her)
    Good luck and God bless

  17. Anonymous,

    I think it is is 100% OK if you desire to marry a virgin (I have the same dream).

    But let’s not be too harsh–those who have made mistakes can recover.

  18. you know i think its a case to case basis. as for me i lost my virginity with my ex-bf but that doesnt stop me from giving my whole heart to my present bf now. i cant even remember my ex bf’s face anymore. virginity is not a fair measuring cup of the person’s capability to love whole heartedly and to be faithful with her partner.i also hope that guys wont misunderstand kuya kevin’s campaign about staying pure becoz i think women are not bubble gums who loses their essense of being a woman because they were chewed up by someone else.God didn’t made us human after all if we’re not that resilient that we cant pick ourselves up after our past mistakes and learn from it,(if you think losing your virginity is a mistake).if women are like that then why didn’t He just made them a real bubble gum instead?no harm intended here guys and im not trying to attack anyone. just stating a comment. God bless us all!

  19. Anonymous,

    The same standards of purity also apply to men–its just that this particular study was about women.

    For me it’s about having a balanced message.

    On the one hand, virginity is a very special gift that you can only give away once. We should encourage men and women to save it for their future spouse, because failing to do so has consequences.

    But God is also a forgiving, and He helps us move on from our past mistakes.

    I do my best to present both sides of the story here. Not sure if I succeed, but I try.

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