Pastor Kevin Sanders

"He must increase, but I must decrease." -John 3:30

The Once in a Lifetime Gift

Imagine you have a very precious gift. It is priceless, and it has some unique qualities: 1). You’ll never have another gift like it—you’ll only have one such gift your entire lifetime 2.) You can only give it away once. 3). Once you’ve given it away, you can never, ever get it back.

How would you treat such a gift? Would you casually give it away to someone who is not completely committed to you? Would you give it to someone who would throw it away and break your heart? Would you flush it down the toilet?

Well, we are born with such a gift: virginity. It is a special gift that you can only give to one person, one time. Once lost, it is gone forever. This gift was intended for your spouse—the one who would treasure your heart forever.

It breaks my heart to see the way this gift is treated. It seems that many young people give their virginity away before they even realize how valuable it was. They take this incredible gift and simply throw it away—what a waste!

Please consider the value of your virginity. Save it for your future spouse.

40 Comments

  1. I so agree.

    It’s worth the wait.

  2. both my husband and i were virgins when we got married and it was so worth the wait..i now understand why and how sex can become a worship in bed..it truly is a gift from God…something than you can share with that one person set by the Father for you..i hope more and more people will realize this..a guilt-free sex is the best..and one where that only thing you have on is a wedding ring..

  3. Just want to share an experience with some officemates. I’m 24yrs old and currently working in a call center company. In this kind of work, you’ll find different type of people. Most of them were liberated and sex outside marriage is normal for them. One time, they were chatting about their “first times”. Then suddenly they asked me..”what about you Pam? When was your first time? at what age?”… Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to answer it that time because we have something else to do and they have to leave the office. But I already have my answer. That morning, as we went to church, the preaching was totally out of the topic of Virginity/Purity but God’s presence is always there. He can sense if you need an answer. Pastor suddenly shared a story of a girl she knew that was pressured by her peers about her virginity. That girl said to her friends..”I CAN BE LIKE YOU ANYTIME I WOULD WANT TO, BUT YOU CAN NEVER BE LIKE ME (VIRGIN) AGAIN”.. Simple words but very powerful meaning. God just gave me a very good answer to give. That night, they asked me again and I proudly say that I don’t have my “first time” yet..My officemate said “does it mean that you’re still pure?”. I said “yes”.. And I shared that msg I learned that morning. And I’ll stick to that decision of being pure ’til I meet my other half as we enter marriage. And while waiting for my future partner, I’m protecting my heart from being broken by someone who doesn’t deserve my love. I’m single until now and still waiting for my “God-given partner” to come. I believe it’s a choice, and I chose to live a true Christian life! Dare to be different!

    “People will know we are CHRISTIANS not because we bear the name, but because we live the LIFE. It’s the LIFE that earns the name, not the name that creates the life.”

    —PaM—

  4. Thanks for posting, ladies! It makes me very happy to read your posts. It’s always encouraging to know others are waiting!

  5. …sadly, i gave it away to a guy that i like so much…it wasn’t a smart move…

    …i am just blessed because the Lord gave me a man who understood and accepted me inspite of this…

    …we now have a pretty and healthy kid

  6. Recent anonymous poster,

    Thanks for reading my blog!

    I’ve decided not to post your comment for now. I’m afraid it would be a distraction from the issue at hand. Just email me if you want a better explanation.

  7. waiting is more difficult than warring.. but “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me..”

  8. to keep Your lovely Face
    ever before my eyes
    this is my pray’r
    make it my sole desire
    that in my secret heart
    no other love competes
    no rival throne survives

    and I serve only You
    -Bob Fitts sang this

  9. You know what i agree with that..
    well because that was me.
    For me its very important not because that’s my mom want me to do but because that’s the only asset I can give to the man who win and treasure my heart forever..and I’ll always promise that to my self..At my age of 23 I’m still a virgin but I don’t care to those people who always teasing me especially to my work…
    But I still consider the reason of those women that in their early age they were not virgin already…

    love to read your blog.
    -bhevz

  10. Anonymous,
    Don’t worry about those who would tease you. The right guy will appreciate that you’ve waited–promise!

    I hope one day I’ll find a woman who has kept herself pure for me.

  11. In a world where purity is treated like some ordinary commodity, it’s quite pleasing to know that there are still women out there who remain virtuous and just refuse to be corrupted. It takes so much self-control and fear of God to hold on to this precious gift. Difficult, yes, but not an impossibility. Take it from someone who has been holding on to it for more than a quarter of a century now. I am utterly grateful that amid my fair share of temptations in the past, my morals have remained very much intact

    Giving in to temptation is so easy but just think of the long-term consequences of premarital sex — emotional bondage (I know of girls who can’t seem to let go of unhealthy relationships because they’ve already done the act and they feel compelled to stay with the guy), excess baggages (figuratively and literally speaking), and a lifetime of regret.

    I’d like to think that sexual abstinence (to retain purity, that is) is similar to dieting. You avoid short-term pleasure and the reward is nothing short of great.

    Just know that patience (in every sense of that word) begets enduring happiness. Now, that should make the long wait worthwhile. 🙂

  12. kuya kevin,yah i agree that more filipinos.gave their virginity,but i want u to know that it has more pinay’s that they still save their virginity,mostly here in a province place bec. we still have a concervative lives and high morality.and it is a “TIPIKAL PINAY”

  13. Anonymous,
    The rate of premarital sex is higher here in Manila compared to other places. What you’ve said is true.

  14. the problem with us is that we forget we are Filipinas, we try so hard to copy the ways of the west on dating, premarital sex, etc (no offense)- it mirrors how little our regard for our race. No need for any fancy philosophy or study to back that statement up. Just see how whitening creams are selling.

  15. Ambertrina,
    I have decided not to post your comment for now, but I appreciate you reading my blog.

    I would encourage you to read more of my posts labeled “For Women.” Even if you don’t agree with me, at least you’ll know my answer to your objections. You can also email me if you have personal questions.

    You may also want to read the following passages of Scripture:
    1 Thessalonians 4:1-8
    1 Corinthians 6:12-20
    Hebrews 13:4

    Blessings!!

  16. I went online to search about diet pills. I wasn’t expecting to come across this blog. I’m 21yrs old and still a virgin. It really is hard to be one not because of the pressure from around me but it’s part of it of course. I live in LA now. I don’t really have a hard time fighting temptations because I don’t go out on dates. I had one boyfriend in high school and that’s it.
    I find it hard to be a virgin because I’m honestly losing hope of finding someone who values it from my perspective. It doesn’t matter what continent you are living. That’s where faith comes in all of you will tell me. I haven’t gone to church in months. I’m going through a really really rough time now. The fact that I’m a virgin is something that makes me happy and at the same time really really sad. Being a virgin tells me that I’m strong and I can still move forward through Christ of course. I miss the relationship I once had w/ Him.

  17. Patsy,
    The right man will appreciate you saving yourself for him. I hope my website has reminded you of this.

    Are you having a tough time finding a church there? I’m sure there are some great Bible-believing churches in LA.

  18. hello kuya kevin!

    i am 24 years old,turning out 25,im blessed with your blog so much.if my sisters out there are experiencing pressure so much with me.at my work,with some of my unbeliever friends.everyday as i opened my email,i sometimes delete automatically articles that comes in due to “busy stuff”well,now as aiv read ublog and comments im blessed..i was reminded to go on with my cause.saving my precious gift for the one God has been preparing for me..honestly,i’ll be turning half a golden age,and now struggling for a ifetime partner.i started a entering a boy-girl relationship just this year.but broke up after just a few months..please pray for me.thanks..

  19. Hi Kuya Kevin Sanders!

    I met you in one of the service in VCF-Ubelt! You’re very passionated with God! Im encouraged with your blogs! Great!

    I’m just thankful with the grace of God because the enemy have not stolen , have not destroyed, and have not kill – the precious gift for my true love.

    I keep holding on to His promises.

    oliver, 26

  20. i appreciate much of your articles here Bro. Kevin. your ministry here in our country is indeed a big blessing to all who had the opportunity to browse and read your blog. your topic here about saving the best gift for your spouse on your first night is one of the best gift a spouse can receive with one another. preserving virginity is not meant for woman alone but for man too. for me that is the best gift we can give on to our spouse after our wedding. after receiving the blessing from GOD thru the holy matrimony, the honeymoon comes next. it will be worth spending if both of you are virgin. what an exciting and worth honeymoon it would be.

  21. hi..

    i absolutely agree with what u’ve shared..
    It’s very important to preserve our purity’
    And i like the comparison using waters.

  22. hi pam wow..what u want is what i want too..i thought i am the only one(virgin) lol..Some people dont believe that im still virgin coz they knew that i have intimate boyfriend for almost 2 yrs..I never been into PMS coz i always put in mind that nothing last forever, the time we broke up i never regret anything, im still pure and im proud of myself.

  23. Anonymous,
    I have deleted your comments here as you requested. I also grew up here in the States. Do a little research on the subjects we were discussing and email me if you have questions.

  24. …hey, there..well me too i have a boyfriend for 3years now…our church members are always judging me..there come a time that even our pastor told me that we had already done PMS with my bf…thats one of the downfall of my life that even our pastor thought about that in me..but i keep a strong faith on God that what they tell cannot let me down..i always tell myself that only God can judge me and God is just..they don’t know that i am still a virgin..i will not prove it to them..i will only prove it to God…

  25. Anonymous,
    I’m sad to hear people are judging you like that. Just stay pure and God will be happy with your decision.

  26. keep iy up guys! encourage one another!

  27. i red the book about lovelife i learned a lot here
    and im happy being single

  28. i strongly agree with you kuya kevin, know what im now 25,single, and im proud of saying im still a virgin. this should be treasured until i’ll meet my husband. i dont care what the wordly people would say to me (“na ang “KJ” ko?) as long as I honor God with my body. For the female out there who keeps their virginity, your doing a great job! so keep it up.

  29. nice reading your comments guys, im so blessed.
    Well, should i say that its our relationship to Christ that matters. whatever the situations, as long as you are close to your creator you can conquer everything.

  30. you are all lucky… when i decided to give up standing for myself was when my mother told our neighbors that i could be pregnant but in fact i havent even done it with my bf.. it was such a disaster people talking behind your back and theyre all saying awful things about u even if its not true…its too tiring to even stand for yourself .i havent felt God that time and all but lost… its good that kuya kevin’s here to guide you.. God bless! If only i got some more strength to fight that time but i was alone even my family was putting me down… Well, anyway BE PROUD VIRGINS!

  31. im very happy beacuse i read your blog ! it enlightens me so much ! thank u kevin .. pls post more topic .

  32. I’m happy to know that there are still many Filipinos who wants to preserve “Virginity” before marriage. Don’t be ashame of it, I am 46 years old and I praise & thank God for giving me enough graces to remain pure until now. We are 7 siblings, our oldest is 49 years old brother and the youngest is 40 years old. We are all singles and all “Virgins” and we are proud of it. Two are married, were also a virgin before marriage.

    Abnormal or Unusual? Defenitely NO! Because we want to follow & obey God’s teachings, as St. Paul says: It is better to obey God than obey man, anyway it is God who will be our judge not the people around us. Are we living fullness of life? Yes, because we are at peace & using our time, talents & treasure serving our Lord in our own small way.

    Our body is sacred & it is created by God for a purpose, it is not for pleasure or lust, it is for procreation within marriage. God dwells in the center of our being, so we need to maintain it sacred and pure.

    We need to consecrate our body to God & we need to be always attuned with Him in prayers so we will remain pure even until death if God wants us to stay single.

    God bless,
    Gem

  33. hi!
    im 21 years old now..and sad to say that n age of 20 im not virgin..bt still im happy and proud to say i am in god spirit always

  34. Anonymous,

    Hope you’ll learn from your mistakes and next time wait until you are married.

    Blessings!

  35. good noon…
    im 31,and still a virgin..honestly i almost give my virginity to a guy i loved so much..thanks God i still have my gift..
    im single til now…and still praying for the right man..
    please help me to pray…

    tnx….
    Gid bless

  36. hi kuya kevin..i came from a christian family..i grow up in the church,.i’ve been a sunday school teacher,choir member,and i do ministry in our church..

    Sadly,i moved to manila to study and work..since that time,i rarely attending church..then i met this guy who happens to be my first bf..i was 19 at that time..he is an unbeliever..people were saying to me”wag xa,paiiyakin k lang nyan”..and even my teacher,who is also a christian prayed for me,talked to me,even went to my house to give advice,to stop and end my relationship with that guy habang maaga pa..but know what,i didnt listen to them..eventhough halos isampal na nila xken ung verse sa bible na “be not equally yoke with unbeliever”..even our pastor’s wife talked to me,even my nanay in one of our church member..even my parents are against to it..but kuya kevs,i was blinded by my love for this guy,that one day,after one year and 3months of being together,i gave my virginity to him..i dont know if un na nga un kasi pinigilan ko pdin xa..i really felt guilty kuya kevs,.dati pa naman,ang prinsipyo ko is marriage before sex..i’m always telling to myself na virginity lang ang gift ko sa magiging husband ko,pero wala na un kuya kevs..i’m hoping nalang na xa na tlga ung mapangasawa ko kasi he was my first..he’s saying na he will marry me after i graduate,that is 3yrs from now..

    Nakakawala nga ng self-respect pag di ka na virgin,tapos ung feeling na guilty nandun lage..

    And kuya kevs,the worst thing is,i think i’m falling out of love to him..first,we are on a long distance relationship..nagki2ta kami twice a month lang..tapos these past few days,prang nawawala na tiwala ko sa kanya,u know that woman instinct?un ang gumagana sakin ngayon..i think hindi nya na ako mahal gaya ng dati..i dont know,nagu2luhan na po ako..pls advise..i think bunga na to ng pagtalikod ko sa Panginoon,.oh my God,pinapalo niya na ako..T_T..so sad..pls pray for me..

  37. Fifteen,
    I’ve replied to your email to me. If you are not happy in the relationship I’d advise you to end it.

  38. how if for example it really happend but you promise yourself that you and your partner will not do it again..is there a chance That god will forgive you..

  39. God is a forgiving God, so yes–He will forgive you.

    But if you and your partner have had sex, you WILL do it again–I’ve seen no exceptions to this rule.

  40. Certainly, true love waits. Treasuring my virginity is one of the best thing I will never regret. I was in a relationship 6 years ago and my ex-boyfriend laid the bait to engage in pre-marital sex. Our relationship was so far smooth but because of this issue, I realized that I have to ponder whether I have to stay with or leave him. He used it to “measure” my trust and love for him and I went out with him but at the back of my mind, I know what I’ll do. I countered attack him telling that if he loves me, he should wait for the time that we marry before I will give my virginity to him. I was grateful that he respected me but after a month, he broke up with me as he was seeing another girl. He never spoke to me and I was hurt badly. After 5 years, he get in touch with me to apologize for what happened and to ask me back. He told me that he was mistaken when he chose the girl over me. They lived in together but it didn’t work out and he realized my worth. As a Christian, I had forgiven him but I did not give him another chance believing that someone who truly deserves me will come in His time. I’m still single but as a member of the CFC-Singles for Christ, I just lift my lovelife to Him.

Comments are closed.