Pastor Kevin Sanders

"He must increase, but I must decrease." -John 3:30

The Downward Spiral

Premarital Sex and Emotional Consequences

Browse through your typical magazine and you won’t find much about the dangers of premarital sex. You might find some warnings about the physical consequences (STDs, unwanted pregnancies, etc). But you’ll never see any mention of emotional consequences.

Well, emotional consequences (guilt, shame, etc) are very real and 100% unavoidable for those who engage in premarital sex. There’s one in particular I’d like you to think about—the tendency to repeat the same mistake again and again.

Consider this quote from the State of the Philippines Population report:

“Pre-Marital Sex Patterns among the youth generally indicate that once one gets initiated to it, a repeat either with the same partner or with another is most likely.”

This quote is a summary of their statistical analysis (based on surveys conducted with Filipino youth). Based on my own counseling experience, I have to say I agree.

Once a couple becomes sexually active, it is practically impossible for them to stop. Try as they may, they will be unable to avoid the temptation to have sex again. The couple is left with two options: 1) break up 2) continue in sexual sin.

The problems don’t stop there. Once someone has become sexually active, he/she is more vulnerable to become sexually active in future relationships. The end result can be a downward spiral, in which premarital sex becomes a part of every relationship.

My point is simply this: the best plan is to remain chaste until marriage. Don’t try to convince yourself that you’ll “only try it once.” Biology simply doesn’t work that way.

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.
-1st Corinthians 6:18

Note: my book has a chapter entitled The Fuse: How Far is Too Far?



  1. it’s like addiction, once you get a taste of it, can’t stop and it becomes a bad habbit and bad habbits are hard to break.

    sometimes we just want to experience thinking we’re left out not knowing but often it’s the other way around. In this case, it’s like that.

    Why take that risk? If it’s true love it should be able to wait, if NOT then it’s something else and has nothing to do with love at all..

  2. Yes. I agree! But not all know about this, they keep on practicing as they said life is too short and be happy, have pleasure and tomorrow we will die! They are not afraid in committing various sins and not affected in what the Bible says in the day of Judgement! Sexual immorality is not for the Kingdom of God. Hoping many people knows about it.

  3. The problem is we forget that as human beings, everything we do has an emotional, mental, and spiritual consequence on top of the obvious physical consequence.

    A study by Heritage Foundation ( shows us that a woman who has had no sexual partners other than her husband (meaning she was a virgin when she got married) has a marital success rate of 80%, while a woman who has had just ONE other partner before getting married, has a marital success rate of only 54%. And the odds get lower as the number of sexual partners increase.

    It’s just not worth it.

  4. Great input–maybe I’ll use that stat in an article some day.

  5. I tried to find the article you quoted from, but there are like a million. Could you (anonymous 2) please give an exact link. I am very curious. And maybe a bit discouraged 🙁

  6. Romans 6:19-21
    Because of the weakness of your human nature, I am using the illustration of slavery to help you understand all this. Previously, you let yourselves be slaves to impurity and lawlessness, which led ever deeper into sin. Now you must give yourselves to be slaves to righteous living so that you will become holy.

    20 When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the obligation to do right. 21 And what was the result? You are now ashamed of the things you used to do, things that end in eternal doom.

    Check out

  7. I already have sex with my boyfriend. And yes, i also had make outs with my ex bf. that’s true what you’ve said about ppl who never ‘did it just once’.
    now i’m regretting every make outs and sex i did. Will God forgive my sins?
    I already feel ashamed for what i done, because my body is His temple and i fill it with dirt.

    DO you think i could still have happiness like ppl who stay virgin until married, if i asked God for forgiveness?

  8. God is a forgiving God:

    9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
    -1st John 1:9

    God will certainly forgive you, and you can still have a good life (and marriage despite your past mistakes).

    There are consequences–you’ll never be able to give your virginity to your spouse. But it’s a good thing you didn’t get pregnant.

    Maybe you can email me personally and we can talk about this a little more.

  9. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
    -1st John 1:9

    Yeah, I agree that God is a good God all the time.

    I’ve been there and it wasn’t what I’d expect.

    I’ve asked God for forgiveness and I do feel that waiting for the one He has for you is better than trying to rush things, all one will end up with, if one rushes is the cost of his actions and disappointment.

    I thank God that He gave me a second chance.

    So now, I wait for that special one that He has for me.

    God bless you always.

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