Pastor Kevin Sanders

"He must increase, but I must decrease." -John 3:30

A Really DUMB Poem about "God’s Plan"

I often rant about internet hoaxes. Now I’ll rant about a hoax of a slightly different nature.

Maybe some of you have read this and passed it around:

God’s plan before you will find your mate

Lord, I am about to be ready to commit myself to someone I fell in love with.
Could I take him now? I have prayed for him for quite a time now.

But the Lord answered. No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by me alone. You need to give yourself totally unreserved to me because in me your satisfaction is to be found. And when you learn to commit yourself to me alone then, only then is the right time for you to be capable of perfect human relationship that I have planned for you long you thought at it.

You will never be united with another until you are united with me. You will never learn to speak and understand the true language of love until you hear me speak it. You will never learn how it is to love and be loved until you feel the tender touch of my LOVE.

I want you to stop planning. Stop wishing and allow me to step in and give you the most surprising and exciting plan that you can imagine. You are my child. I want you to have the best. Please allow me to bring it to you. Fix your eyes on me and expect the greatest things as you watch.

Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I AM. Learn all the things I tell you and be patient. Just wait.

Don’t be anxious. Do not worry. Don’t look around and feel at the things others may have got. Yours will be different because I LOVE YOU. Don’t look at things you think you want. They may not be the things I want for you. Look up straight at me because you might miss what I want to show you.

And then, when you’re ready. I’ll surprise you with a lover far more wonderful than what you would ever dream of. But I won’t let you have it until you are ready and the one I prepared for you is ready, until you are both satisfied exclusively with me and the LIFE I have prepared for you.

I hate to interrupt your warm fuzzy feeling, but this is one of the dumbest things I’ve read in my life. It is typical of the over-spiritualized, “God is my girlfriend” kind of stuff that I see all too often.

This poem is about as spiritually accurate as a romance novel you can buy at 7-11. Let me explain why:

But the Lord answered. No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by me alone.

*There’s nothing super-holy about being alone. God’s Himself said that “it is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). God said this when Adam had a perfect, sinless relationship with Him.
*What about those who get married at 18? Did they learn this mystical secret of contentment at such a young age?
*Does this mean that all singles are still single because they are not spiritually mature enough?
*Does God enjoy playing psychological games with His children? He’ll wait until you are content being alone, then throw someone into your life? Come on!

. . . .then is the right time for you to be capable of perfect human relationship that I have planned for you long you thought at it.

*Perfect human relationship? There’s no such thing! Listen, guys—marriage takes a lot of work. Even if you find a godly husband/wife, it is still requires adjustments, sacrifices, etc.

I want you to stop planning. Stop wishing and allow me to step in and give you the most surprising and exciting plan that you can imagine.

*Not only are you not allowed to take practical steps to find a spouse, you’re not even allowed to want one! Doesn’t the Bible say, “He who finds a wife finds what is good” (Proverbs 18:22)?
*There’s nothing wrong with desiring and pursuing marriage (assuming that you are the right age). This is a desire that GOD has placed in our hearts.

But I won’t let you have it until you are ready and the one I prepared for you is ready, until you are both satisfied exclusively with me and the LIFE I have prepared for you.

*So the only ones who can marry are those who’ve reached the pinnacle of spiritual maturity and have “purged” themselves of the desire for marriage? I’ll have to ask my married friends how they accomplished this.

I’ve written my own poem to show you how ridiculous this is:

God’s plan before you find a job

I’m broke and I don’t have money. I asked God if I should accept a recent job offer, one I have been praying about.

But the Lord answered: No, not until you are satisfied in me alone. Not until you learn that man does not live by bread alone. Not until you learn to trust me and me alone as your provider.

Stop planning. Don’t send out any resumes or job applications. Don’t be envious of your friends that work and have money. I have something better for you.

When you least expect it, I’ll surprise you with a high-paying, hassle-free job in an air conditioned office. Or maybe I’ll just give you a winning lottery ticket. You don’t have to do anything. I’ll just surprise you with it. This is my perfect plan for you that I’ve had in mind before the foundations of the earth were formed.

Got the point? Let’s get back to the Bible when we talk about God’s plan for marriage.

Let me clarify some of the points I’m trying to make. Judging by the comments, this might be needed:

1. The Bible is the final authority–not cheesy poems. Anything that is written must be evaluated in light of Scripture.
2. God does not play mind games with His children. This poem implies that He will only give us a spouse when we let go of the desire for one. How crazy!
3. The desire for a spouse is not a bad thing. This desire must be placed under the Lordship of Christ, but desiring marriage and family is a God-given thing.
4. Practical steps are not sinful. Looking for a spouse does not mean that someone is less spiritual or doesn’t trust God.

39 Comments

  1. WoW!!!that was really great!God really used you.I was comforted of your message,God’s plan before you get a job.Its really true.God bless you.

  2. I like the healthy caution you remind us of here.

  3. kuya kev’s,is it true,that God’s will sends,the perfect one for us?(soulmate/destiny).

  4. yeah i totally agree with you. i think it should be the other way around. If we look at it in the religious perspective, love for one’s God is the greatest. But you can never achieve something great without going through the small things.

    (Great things come from small beginning- Milo advert)

    Sufi Islam has a good say on love. They teach love is like water. God’s love is the ocean. We have to start as a droplet. We can’t jump immediately into the ocean. We have to go through springs, rivers, lakes, and seas. I definitely agree with this.

    I think you can only truly love God if you have learned to truly love a person. How can you say that you love God (you can’t even see him, talk to him) if you haven’t tried loving a real person who you can actually see, hear and feel??
    right? lol… this comment is getting long…

  5. The poem about finding a ‘job’ sure made me laugh…lol…

    I disagree too that we have to reach some level of holiness first before we’re qualified for romance.

  6. kuya kev’s,is it true,that God’s will sends,the perfect one for us?(soulmate/destiny)?

    Anonymous, I believe that we have to do our part to find a spouse. We pray and trust God, but we also have to do our part.

    I don’t believe in “soulmates”–id is not in the Bible. I have a chapter about this in my book.

  7. thanks kuya kevin.. you had really explain this poem.. i agree with you…thanks.

  8. but kuya kev’s is it true that God prepared someone to everyone,when he created us.He thought about the person fitted for us…Prepared by God to finding our life time partner?

  9. The first time i read the poem made my feelings being “tamed” ( Im talking about God’s plan for your mate).
    I dont view it as over spiritual but i think there are some exaggerated lines on it.
    Before, i was so anxious…” Grrr, until now ive never had a bf…”ok, that was the feelings.

    Somehow I followed the poem BUT im not saying I was not expanding my network or meet other people and find possibilities.God also gave us also brain to use. For me the poem is becoming over spiritual when you are viewing it as over spiritual thing. Its just depend on how you interpret the poem…
    I just keep on following my top five priorities.
    1.God
    2.Family
    3.Work/Study
    4.Ministry( as you can see God is no.1, its just have to be balanced)
    5.Self (including not so important things in life 🙂
    Every part of my life is under process.

    I like the poem, its just really depend on how you interpret it. And i dont consider it as the dumbest things Ive read in my life 🙂

  10. Spika,
    There’s nothing wrong with relaxing and trusting God–I just think this poem takes things WAY too far.

    Anonymous,
    Psalm 139 tells us our lives are in God’s hands. But I’m not sure God gives us a “custom-made” spouse. I don’t see this in the Bible. You can read my book chapter entitled “Do I Have a Soulmate?” for more info.

  11. Hmm. The only thing I can say though is that I noticed that when I fell in love with and sought the sweetness of Jesus’ presence more than the text messages of my fiance, I learned to love my fiance more.

    Only when he got serious with God and felt satisfied in Him were we able to move forward with our relationship.

    Snags happen, like that in my post where you commented, but those could be fixed, with a conversation, mutual forgiveness, mutual submission and moving forward with the learnings and applying them to the relationship.

    To be honest, had I not been fully satisfied with Jesus’ love for me first, I wouldn’t have gained more understanding and appreciation for my fiance. Though that doesn’t stop me from my weak moments.

    I would be a worse case of an unfaithful fiancee if I hadn’t fallen in deep love with Jesus around a month ago. Thankfully, even as we stumble, our God picks us up and sends us back up to walk again.

    I really don’t think this was extreme. It was not fitting to parallelize love with career. With career, you need to exercise wisdom. With love, since marriage and human love could be a doorway for idolatry, I believe that one needs to fall in reckless love with Jesus first.

    Just my two cents’. 🙂

  12. I think my parallel stands–just as it is foolish to expect God to drop a job in your lap, it is equally foolish to expect to find a spouse with no effort.

    Human relationships certainly should take second place to our relationship with God. Having said that, I see too much talk of the “idolatry” of wanting a spouse.

  13. i don’t know if this topic is still open to comments but i’ll try anyway…
    I don’t think it’s healthy to always be hunting for a partner.god knows our desire. when we’re to eager, we make many mistakes.
    I think we need to relax, pray, but be open to whoever comes along. Pursue friendships and when we meet someone we like or we’re attracted to, well pursue the friendship deeper if the other is responding…and see where it would lead….

  14. It is a mistake to be too eager, but it is (in my opinion) also a mistake to be too passive. Let’s be balanced here. Being too passive can also be a mistake.

  15. the question is – what is passive? A guy could think a woman is still being passive when to her, she thinks she’s already making a move or the move….and i think that men and women have different takes on what is passive…

  16. I don’t have an easy answer for you. My point is the poem is wrong in implying that doing nothing is the only way to obey God.

  17. kuya kev, as far as i know God gave us the freedom to choice whaT WE WANT and who we want to have in life. of course everything happen for a reason,it might be our plan or Gods plan.
    some verse in the bible says,. “ask and it shall be given.”
    its a matter of faith that everything can be possible,..

    if we fall inlove to someone,. lets do our best to work out the relationship right and just and happy and last.

    its always do our part and God do the rest. , lets entrust all our consern to him. and abandoned everything to his will. and i do believed God will show you the right person for you to have and hold.

    louttah

  18. I just twinkled said:

    “I think you can only truly love God if you have learned to truly love a person. How can you say that you love God (you can’t even see him, talk to him) if you haven’t tried loving a real person who you can actually see, hear and feel??
    right? lol… this comment is getting long…”

    The flip side to this is another scripture that says, “We love Him (God) because he first loved us.”

    God is love so until our spirits are born again and mature in Christ, we can’t truly love others in the correct way. Unless we have a new nature, and a right spirit and new heart has been given us by the Holy Spirit, I don’t think we can truly love others like God wants us to. We need help. And learning to love Gods way is one of the hardest things to do. If you don’t believe me, try loving the next person by treating them right, and doing the right thing, when you’ve been betrayed, lied on, and offended and didn’t deserve it.

    We love God and others, because He FIRST LOVED US; not the other way around. I think the scripture how can we say we love God whom we have not seen and not love our brother standing right there in front of us, is appealing to those who say they love God when they really don’t cause they don’t love others. I’ve seen a lot of professing Christians say they love God but ignore meeting needs which is love in action. There’s an old saying in my family from Tennessee when it comes to love which I agree: “I’d rather have felt it than telt it.”

    Anyway, I agree with Kuya Kevs about doing our part in finding our mate. Jesus said Seek and you will find, ask and it shall be given, knock and the door will be open. Proverbs tells us a man who FINDS a wife finds a blessing from the Lord. These instructions tell us to take action and trust God for the outcome!

    anyway, just my 2 cents worth.

    Blessings,
    Barbara

  19. kuya kev’s’if my time ka.may u search the song of natalie grant “when God made u” what is the true message of this song kasi i am wondering if its about a “soulmate” diba sabi nyo po,u dont believe in soulmate? or is it “trusting God”..balak ko sanang maging wedding song ko.

  20. Correct, I don’t really believe in soulmates–it is not in the Bible.

  21. You will never be united with another until you are united with me. You will never learn to speak and understand the true language of love until you hear me speak it. You will never learn how it is to love and be loved until you feel the tender touch of my LOVE.

    The first two lines are quite over the top (making it appear as if being a Christian is a requisite to love). Though I sort of agree with the third line (‘sort of’ being the operative term here). To be able to REALLY love someone (i am talking about the 1 Corinthians 13 type of love), one should be able to grasp its real meaning (which is the whole point of God sending His son and Jesus dying for us).

    But it’s kinda foolish to phrase it this way – “until you feel the tender touch of my LOVE.” Is there anyone who hasn’t been touched by Him?

  22. I believe it was God who planned for our match-
    for some one to share our life with.
    I agreed that we have to do our part to find him/her
    we have a lot to consider- faith, financial stability,
    behavior.

    Praying hard is one of the key and needs a lot of patience.

  23. hahahaha…….
    nakakatuwa naman itong topic na to..pero sa totoo lang some christians think this way……
    ginagawa nila si Lord na parang oppresive task master and minsan
    when they ask for something kala nila si Lord isang magician……
    and before our teaching were more
    about law than grace!! kaya ung mga tao they were doing things out of fear kesa out of love kaya they think si Lord kinokontrol ang tao!! nway kuya kevin ang ganda nitong message na to……..
    God bless po………

  24. kuya kev’s thank u so much sa explanation mo po. sobrang naliwanagaa na po ako.from now i dont believe in soulmate.and i will keep on praying that God will sends the perfect one for me.

  25. Well, prayer does move more mountains than running around anxious with scattered efforts does, heheh.

    Praying and being still accomplishes more in ANY realm, in ANY aspect of life more than going out and trying every thing that comes out of anyone could ever do. 🙂

  26. Erratum:

    “..Than anything that comes your way” could ever accomplish, I mean. heheh.

  27. We should pray and take action. That’s the pattern you’ll find in the Scriptures.

  28. kevin, you’re tripping me out. i was laughing through the first half, but really, your thoughts and the scripture references were refreshing.
    (melanie)

  29. i may have a different view
    but i enjoyed reading this article.
    i go back from time to time,
    even shared it to a friend.

    more about this other line of thought here

  30. the one about job was just hilarious..lol.
    anyway, it does taking things too far, but in a way spiritual maturity is one thing we look when finding relationship, even though we shouldn’t expect somebody to be perfect. And we should be as well preparing ourselves before entering a relationship.

  31. If God hasn’t prepared for us a spouse that is the point of waitting and praying?

  32. We pray because we need God’s help and guidance. We pray for God’s wisdom.

    The point of waiting? Depends on what you mean by “waiting.” When I talk about waiting, I’m speaking of postponing sex until marriage.

    For me, “waiting” does not mean sitting by and doing absolutely nothing to search for a spouse.

  33. Kuya, I really had fun reading your articles. You have a point.

    God gave us freedom and His loved for us is Unconditional.

    Let us do our part and ask for God’s guidance with our full trust in Him.
    Let us make our relationship in Him grow and so with to others, for God says: LOVE ONE ANOTHER AS I HAVE LOVED YOU.

    Let us not be worry too much in finding our soul mate or partner. God will direct our heart and we just have to cooperate. Do it with your willingness and not just because you were being given a condition to do such as an assurance to meet the real one.

    God’s will combined by your will makes things better.

    God bless!

    Lovemari

  34. Are there 7-11’s in Manilla? Seriously, I came across this poem many years ago when I was in my 20s and, although it sounded so holy, when I read it I thought “wow, that is one HUGE hoop I have to go through before I marry! When will I EVER know that I am completely content?!?!?” Whoever wrote this poem should be arrested…jk.

    Seriously, it is a really bad and unfortunate poem.

  35. There are hundreds of 7-11’s in Manila 🙂 Thanks for reading.

  36. nenyalorien/Lorie said…
    Well, prayer does move more mountains than running around anxious with scattered efforts does, heheh.

    My Comment:
    I believe you’re referring to BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD. Yes, you’re right. There’s no reason for us to be anxious. He will certainly provide and He knows our needs but it doesn’t mean that we just have to sit and BE STILL.

    I agree with KK. We should be ACTIVELY waiting… and it doesn’t mean that we’re anxious while we’re doing that. That was his point too– to pray. Pray for guidance so we don’t have to “run around with scattered efforts” or do things without His guidance.

    I think this also refers to TAKING A STEP OF FAITH 🙂 which can also be compared to studying. You don’t just ask God to give you a good score. You pray, let go of your worries AND study hard!
    😀
    -March25

  37. Makes sense as far as the second poem is concern. But as for the first, I don’t think we should be very technical with it. I think that the main point of it was before you even love someone, make sure to love GOD above all else first! and I think that’s a good one to remember!

  38. But Mike, that is not what the poem says. I speak to a lot of students/singles and I see a lot of confusion caused by this kind of cheesy, overspiritualzed approach to love and marriage.

  39. hahahaha i have one copy of this letter given to me by a christian friend

    you got me laughing about it Kuya, the first time i read this letter kc, honestly i took it seriously maybe this is one way of God’s telling me to wait for true love..i think this letter is ideal with girls for encouragement to wait..and be contented with God’s Love.

    as with the men out there, bka maging passive nlang cla ,waiting for a wife delivered by God at their doorstep=D eh buti kung kautlad mo cla ng reaction..

    i got your whole point there Kuya hehehe

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