Here’s an email I got from a young woman who thought she’d found a godly man:
I’ve had a boyfriend for one year and nine months. We were together all the time for the first year because he is my neighbor. He seemed to have a good attitude and good character, and he also seemed to be a God-centered person. He was the kind of guy I was looking for, even though we come from different religions. He regularly attended mass with me on Sundays.
He left to work on a ship after the first year of our relationship. He did not tell me immediately when he returned–other people told me he was back. He finally met me at home after he had been back for three days. I wondered what happened while he was off at see. One day I found a text message on his phone. It was from his ex girlfriend, and went something like this: “thanks for calling me, I enjoyed talking with you.” We argued about it and I walked out on him.
The next day we went on a date and talked about it again. He told me that he had to accompany his sister to the province. I was suspicious, and asked him to tell me if he has found someone else. He told me that he fears God and would not want to cause a breakup–I appreciated this answer.
He did not text me or return my calls for three days while he was in the province. He finally sent a text message after six days, saying, “Sorry, I got my ex-girlfriend back.” I was shocked, but I figured it was better to let go. Why should I fight for someone who does not deserve my love?
My question is this: Why did God take him away from me? This guy was the one I had been praying for. I really learned a lot from him, and he even helped me get closer to God. I trusted God, so why did this happen to me? I’m really hurt.
I’m very sorry to hear about what happened to you.
First, it is important to understand that this guy is not as “God-centered” as you thought. He lied about his ex-girlfriend, then he broke up with you through a text message. What he did was dishonest and cowardly, and these are obviously not godly qualities. Maybe he knows a lot of things about the Bible, but it looks like there are still some major character problems he needs to correct. It seems like he actually used religion/faith to manipulate you and cover up his lies. I think you are better off without him.
Please don’t blame God for what happened. It is natural for us to be angry with God when something bad happens to us. The Bible actually mentions this in several places (especially in the Psalms). You need to understand, however, that this was your ex-boyfriend’s fault. He chose to lie–God certainly did not force him to do this.
We all have to live and learn. Hopefully this bad experience willhelp you to be a little wiser in your next choice of a boyfriend. Take some time to heal, forgive him, and don’t rush your next relationship, and I bet you’ll find someone better next time.
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