Pastor Kevin Sanders

"He must increase, but I must decrease." -John 3:30

Four Steps to Sabotage Your Future Marriage

Yes, I’m using some reverse psychology.  Here are for steps that may just help you ruin your future marriage.

Have Premarital Sex

If your spouse is your first and only lover, this will create an incredibly strong physical, emotional, and spiritual bond between the two of you. You simply don’t need this if you are going to sabotage your marriage. It’s much better if you engage in premarital sex. This way your spouse will not be your “first” and you can bring plenty of emotional baggage to your marriage bed. If you are lucky, you may even bring some physical complications as well. An STD, for example, could ruin your spouse’s health as well as your own. It wouldn’t have to be one of those big scary STD’s: something as simple as HPV would do. This would give you (or your wife if you are a man) cervical cancer.

Become a Player

If you are going to wreck your marriage, you need to develop some serious character flaws. Two-timing is a good place to start. Cheating, after all, is exciting and gratifying business. Trying to remember all of your lies will keep you on the edge—much more exhilarating than a boring, stable, monogamous relationship. Lying and manipulating will become second nature to you. It’s especially helpful if you can convince yourself that the “right person” will cause you to settle down and be faithful (much easier to blame your player ways on other people). You may believe that a wedding ceremony and a ring will magically change your character. Don’t worry: the habits that you develop will eventually come back. Before you know it, you’ll elevate your status from player to adulterer.

Get Some Vices

A healthy marriage requires two healthy people. There’s a way to make sure you are not emotionally or physically healthy: vices. Smoking cigarettes, for example, will ensure that you have some major health problems. You’ll burden your family with some major medical bills and may send yourself to an early grave. Men, there’s also a good chance that cigarettes will make you impotent—which will obviously cause problems. Alcohol or drug abuse can wreck a family even faster than your nicotine addiction. Porn use/addiction, while not causing physical diseases, can negatively affect intimacy between you and your spouse. Almost any vice will do if practiced regularly.

Be Financially Undisciplined

Money is one of the major causes of conflict within a marriage. You can make sure that there are many problems by mismanaging your finances. Buy whatever you want, regardless of whether or not you can afford it. Borrow money and get yourself in debt. Live beyond your means. Whatever you do, don’t save any money. You don’t want extra money set aside for any of those inevitable expenses of family life. Instead, just borrow more money and deepen your debt as a couple.

Last but not least, choose a partner who is practicing these four steps. Together, you can have your own domestic nightmare!


I’m not saying that committing one of these mistakes means that you are forever doomed to a bad marriage. My point is that all of these behaviors can affect your future. If you are doing any of these things, please reexamine your life and consider the consequences.


  1. I enjoyed how you wrote this Kuya Kevs! The humorous tone in this message really should drive the Lord’s point home in someone’s heart who carries any of these character defects in relationships. I urge anyone whose honest with themselves (at least) that insists on hanging onto these sins, never renouncing and forsaking them, to ask yourself if you really meant what you told God when you asked Him to forgive you and give you a brand new heart? Repentance means a radical about face…heading in a new direction…and cooperating with the Holy Spirit who transform you in the the image of Jesus Christ. Daily, we crucify our flesh and conform into the image of Christ. We obey Him because we love Him! If we do not love Jesus, we will not obey him, but our flesh. I urge everyone to submit to God, and let Him write the story of your life instead of your own.

    Kuya Kevs…I would like to post this blog on my friendsters blog with this link if its okay with you? Wow! What an awesome blog that made me smile!


  2. Sure: copy, paste and link until your heart is content 🙂

    Just see the link to the right called “how to use this blog” for my “copyright” details.

  3. Amen.

  4. Hi kuya kevz. Im visiting your site again. I like ths article but im not applying it. Its scary. Im not prepared for marriage as well. Can i paste ths article in my friendster blog? ill put your site so that my friends can also read your blogs.:) thank u kuya kevz…

    God Bless 🙂


  5. Sure, just be sure to link it back here to my website.

  6. i so agree with you cyberpunk. i was married to a good man, no vices & everything.. everybody look up to him.. we were bf-gf for 7 yrs & married for just 6 yrs.. we’re like the perfect family (we have a son) he works hard & im a stay at home mom who takes care of everything around the house.. we were envied by everyone but that didnt last long until he was tempted to cheat…
    now we’re separated, he chose to be w/ her 21 yr old girlfriend rather than to be w/ me & our kid. im like in hell now but trying to be strong just for my son. im just praying that God will give me strength on my way..

  7. batgurl,

    I’m very sorry to hear about what happened to you.

    BUT one story does not change the overall truth of this post.

    It’s kind of like someone saying, “you should smoke because my grandfather smoked and lived to be 100.”

    Anyone can cheat, but who is more likely to cheat–someone who has practiced self-discipline, or someone who hasn’t?

    Again, I’m very sorry to hear about what happened to you–but you are in essence encouraging young women to go ahead and marry men who are “players” and have vices. Is that really the message you want to send?

  8. nahh, that’s not what i’m trying to imply kuya kevin. it’s only based on my experience cuz i also have some friends who were like a pain in the ass while they were single but when they got married they are totally faithful w/ their wives & scared to cheat on them.
    yeah anyone can cheat, only people who are weak are most likely to cheat.

  9. I understand your story and I feel very bad about what happened to you.

    I just want my readers to make wise decisions. Marrying someone who hasn’t demonstrated good character will usually end in disaster.

  10. Amen to that Kuya Kevin.. And most important of all is to put God in the center of your relationship, always ask for His guidance to strengthen your marriage.. Cuz i think thats the reason why our marriage fell apart.. He doesn’t go to church with me, we have different religion..
    i did make a wise decision when i marry him, it’s just that… Well, that’s what it is… my destiny i guess…
    Tnx Kuya Kevin..

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