Wrong Number, Po!

I guess you are bound to get some weird calls if you live in a city of over 12 million people. Once I answered the phone and was immediately serenaded by a woman I didn’t know. Once I was called and told I won some big amount of money (like 50k pesos) if I would come to some office to pick it up. I told them just mail it to me if they really wanted to give me that much money (I knew it was some kind of trick to get me to sign up for something).

Here’s a couple of my more humorous wrong number conversations:

This first one is entitled the gay telemarketer. I got a call from a telemarketer that seemed a little too interested in his work (especially considering that he had dialed a wrong number). Here’s a “transcript” of a conversation that happened. I will translate for my non-Filipino readers:

Phone rings
Kevin: Hello . . .
Gay Telemarketer: Can I speak to . . .
Kevin: Wrong number po (“po” is the equivalent of “sir/ma’am”)

Gay Telemarketer: Sir, I was just wondering if you own a credit card . .
Kevin: Hindi ako interesado sa mga credit cards (I’m not interested in credit cards).

Gay Telemarketer: What is your name sir?
Kevin: I’m not interested, good bye.
I hang up

Phone rings again within a minute
Kevin: Hello
Gay Telemarketer: Sir, Ako ang tumawag kanina (I am the one that called earlier)

Kevin: Oo, sabi ko hindi ako interesado sa credit card diba? (Yes, I said I’m not interested in a credit card, right?)
Gay Telemarketer: Sir, how old are you?

Kevin: Bakit naiistorbo mo ako? (Why are you disturbing me?)
Gay Telemarketer: Naiistorbo ba kita? (Am I disturbing you?)
Kevin: Oo! (yes), goodbye.
I hang up again

Kuya Kevin, the surrogate mommy: here’s a call from an obviously confused adult female.

Phone Rings

Kevin: Hello
Unknown Female: Hello?

Kevin: Hello?
Unknown Female: 52*-****? (calls out a number that sounds like mine)

Kevin: Yes?
Unknown Female: Mommy!
Kevin: Ano? (what?)

Unknown Female: 52*-****? (calls out a number and I realize one digit is wrong)
Kevin: hindi (no), this is 52*-****

Unknown Female: sorry po

(I’m such a failure as a parent)