Pastor Kevin Sanders

"He must increase, but I must decrease." -John 3:30

Morning after Mourning

. . . Weeping may last through the night,
but joy comes with the morning.
-Psalm 30:5

It’s true that I’ve experienced breakups, being basted, dumped, and all those other unfortunate events that come with being single. I’ve also mentioned that heartbreaks hurt now, just like they did when I was much younger.

There is an advantage, however, to being older and wiser. No matter what happens, I know that the sadness will not last forever.

Those first few days can be rough—it’s kind of like “emotional jet lag.” It can be hard to think about anything but your own pain. Difficult as it is, this stage cannot be skipped—it has to be endured.

There comes a point, however, where it just doesn’t hurt as much. You start playing happy songs again on your ipod (instead of all of those depressing “how will I live without you” type tunes). The joy of living begins to return, as if a fog has lifted away from your soul. The healing has begun.

You may still miss the person who is gone from your life (even if you are the one who ended the relationship). The memories may still hurt, but they hurt less than before.

As long as you have committed to let go of the past, you will heal. It will take time. You may even be left with some emotional scars, but scars don’t hurt anymore. They are simply there to remind us of lessons learned.

No matter what is happening in your life, do not forget that joy comes in the morning.

An expanded version of this article is available in my book: Basta Lovelife: Making Wise Relationship Decisions.


  1. Amen to that!

    the Lord is good and His love endureth forever,even His grace never end, it is new every morning giving us new strength everyday to go on and live for Him even with wounded hearts, for us to wake up each morning feeling less depressed than before…God bless

  2. this article is so hopeful. but from a girl’s point of view, this has to be repeatedly stressed. it takes time to heal. grabe. and many enter into rebound relationships (fatal!) just to ease the pain. the verse and your thoughts about it will help. can you also give more practical advice on what to do when the heart is still on basted/dumped jetlag?

  3. Try reading the “dumped” article. It is linked in this article.

    I may include this article in my book and expand it. One thing I would strongly suggest is that you talk to someone about your pain.

  4. i can pretty well relate to this article….it may take time to heal but God is good….i am suppose to be married November 24 2007..(its today…)my fiance’ who happens to be a brit-fil working for citibank met an accident in india and had a massive brain injury and after 13 months of hospital stay, he never made it..i prayed and prayed and prayed…God never gave me what i pleaded for countless of times but still i believe He can never do me any wrong…i dont need to understand,I only need to trust Him.

  5. Thanks for sharing, Dani!

  6. Hi Kevin,
    This is good, practical advice. I hope you will address it in more detail in your book. I think it will be of tremendous blessing to many people who are struggling with how to cope with loss of a relationship even as you said they were the ones who decided to end it.

  7. Thanks for reading. I do go into a little more detail in the book “version” of this article. Blessings!

  8. Ouchh but sunset will give us new begginings. Hi Kuya Kevin 🙂

  9. i really love your articles. it’s very inspiring 😉

  10. Yeah… it’s really painful breaking up with someone… but if you’ll try to let everything sink in…, we understand that it’ll not be forever. From mourning to a beautiful morning indeed! God has a purpose for it and that’s what gives us hope since His purpose for us are good!

  11. Thank you kuya kevin.. Indeed, God has a purpose for everything.. 🙂

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