Pastor Kevin Sanders

"He must increase, but I must decrease." -John 3:30

Adam and Eve, Eyes and Ears

American college students often come and help us with our ministry. A few years ago we had a tall, attractive student that spent a few weeks with us. It didn’t take long for the young men on campus to notice her and take action. They started writing poems and passing them to her through friends. We had many laughs while reading the Shakespeare wannabe’s corny professions of love (note to self: NEVER try to write poetry in your second language—it usually just doesn’t work out).

This phenomenon is actually as old as creation (literally). Read Adam’s first words when he was introduced to Eve:

“At last!” the man exclaimed.
“This one is bone from my bone,
and flesh from my flesh!
She will be called ‘woman,’
because she was taken from ‘man.’”

-Genesis 2:23

Adam experienced love at first sight, and his response was to break out into poetry. From the Garden of Eden to our college campuses, there’s a principle at work: men tend to fall in love with their eyes, while women tend to fall in love with their ears. Male/female relationships are certainly more complex than this one statement, but I think we can learn some important lessons from it. Men and women have unique vulnerabilities because of this principle. Let’s start with the men.

From Adam until now, men are visually “wired.” By this I mean that we are easily aroused by visual stimuli. It is part of our Creator’s design that has been affected by sin. Here’s the problem with being visually wired: we men tend to sin with our eyes (see Matthew 5:27-28). Men, for example, drive the pornography industry. It is true that some women do get addicted to porn, but this is the exception. We men are the primary consumers, and the industry would not exist if all men were born blind. Our vulnerability is not limited to pornography. Many a man has suffered great loss (family, money, etc) because he fell for a beautiful face or body.

Women also have their unique weaknesses. Because they fall in love with their ears, women can easily fall prey to pambobola (flattery) and other verbal or written expressions. A woman may commit herself to purity, only to fall for a smooth-talking man with bad intentions. She may quickly give her heart to someone that has not truly proven himself to be trustworthy. Women’s love for romantic words drives them to buy “pocket books” and other romance novels. Unlike porn, this literature is not inherently evil. An obsession with romance, however, can cause a woman to make bad decisions or compromise her standards (see Song of Solomon 8:4)

Let’s carefully consider our vulnerabilities as men and women. Being cautious about what we watch and listen to will help us to guard our hearts.

This is one of the many articles that you’ll find in Basta LoveLife, Making Wise Relationship Decisions


  1. Could you post here a sample from those poems?
    It’s nice to see a concrete example of how NOT to write poetry in your second language. 🙂

  2. Sorry, I didn’t save any of those humorous poems 🙂 Just remember getting a good laugh out of them.

  3. well i think women are not excepted with pornography.they can commit lust into their heart as well and even struggle with it.

  4. I agree. My point is that men are usually more vulnerable to pornography.

  5. Bluebutterfly

    10/27/2007 at 10:35 am

    We fall for flattery because we like being adored…yes, we’re vain…hehe! Seriously I think it’s because females are emotional creatures and nothing stirs up the heart better than words, whether spoken or written, heartfelt or not, poem or prose.

  6. “unlike porn it’s not necessarily evil”


    Umm, no, it is.

    The bulk of those romance novels exist to stir up powerful emotions that are based on fiction.

    They are the same as pron, and they pollute the female mind just as surely as the SI swimsuit issue pollutes the male mind.

    Both are means by which people become enamored with a ideal that does not exist, and then measure God’s children by those ideals.

    Sin is sin is sin, and the ladies don’t get a pass just because their lusty literature is sold out in the open, instead of in opaque plastic sleeves.

  7. Anonymous,

    I’m sure some some romance novels are sinful–but I’m not willing to say all of them are. If such is true, then reading Romeo and Juliet is a sin–sorry, I can’t agree with you there.

    PS–you’ll have more credibility here if you leave a name with your comments.

  8. kaya pla…

    hay i learned a lot tlaga kuya kevs sa mga blogs mo

    na-addict din akong magbasa ng pocketbooks dati..grade 3 ako ng magstart magread ng pocketbook Wala Ka ng babalikan ni Gilda Olvidado pa un hahaha

    nka-stimulate nga ng utak…pero dhil nagiging ideal ka sa lalaking mamahalin mo (mayaman, guwapo, mabait at medio bastos) nakakatandang dalaga ang magbasa kc mataas ang standards mo sa gusto mong lalaki hehehe

    den i stop na magbasa nlang ng bible..
    i wonder nga why i quickly read those pocketbook while i struggle to read the bible everyday..haizzz

    Godbless po=)

  9. I’m still waiting to know what the “romantic gestures are”

  10. Lee, I don’t understand your question.

  11. Good article. Thanks! 😉

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