Sometimes I spend a few minutes listen to the counseling shows that air on late-night TV. The other night I was saddened by what I heard. A woman called in and described a nine-year relationship with a married man. They had a child together, yet she was stuck in the role of mistress. She said that she wanted a change in her life, but she loved him and found it difficult to leave him.
This of course, is a no-win situation for her. Suppose, for example, that the man left his wife and married her. How much security could she really have? What’s the point of marrying someone who does not honor marriage vows?
I thought about these types of situations while reading Jeremiah:
So you must submit to Babylon’s king and serve him; put your neck under Babylon’s yoke! I will punish any nation that refuses to be his slave, says the Lord. I will send war, famine, and disease upon that nation until Babylon has conquered it..
What in the world does this have to do with relationship choices? I’ll explain.
Jeremiah warned God’s people to turn away from their sins. The Israelites, however, were hard-headed. After repeated warnings, it was time for them to experience the consequences for their sins. Jeremiah explained that Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon, would conquer them. They would have to spend 70 years in captivity before returning to Israel. God promised to bless those who would take their punishment and turn their hearts back to Him. Those who refused His judgment would suffer even more severe consequences.
We can be just like the Israelites. At times we want the easy way out—even when there isn’t one. Sometimes we spend months or years in a relationship that we know is not healthy. When we finally come to our senses, we want a one-day cure for our problem. We want a quick, pain-free, easy breakup. I often tell students something like this: “It took some time for you to put yourself in this situation. It’s going to take some time for you to get out of it and recover.”
God never promises that the right decision will be easy—especially if we’ve been ignoring His warnings. He does promise to bless us and give us strength as we return to Him.
If you are trying to make a tough choice, do not wait for it to get easier. It will probably only get harder. Make the right choice now, before you suffer even greater consequences.
Whoever stubbornly refuses to accept criticism
will suddenly be destroyed beyond recovery.
This is one of the many articles that you’ll find in my book: Basta Lovelife: Making Wise Relationship Decisions.
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