Pastor Kevin Sanders

"He must increase, but I must decrease." -John 3:30

The “Romantic Vulture” Syndrome

Has this ever happened to you?

You meet someone that really gets your attention. This person is gorgeous, intelligent, witty, sexy, holy, and any other positive attribute you can imagine. There’s just one “little” problem: he/she is in a relationship.

This happens to me all the time and I’m sure it has happened to you. There’s always a chance that you were not the first to notice this wonderful person.

Back during my radio interview, someone asked if it was OK to ask God for someone who is already in a relationship. We joked on the show about asking the Almighty to intervene and cause a break-up. This is what I call being a “romantic vulture.”

My answer to the question was, “yes, theoretically.” Here’s what I mean: unless someone is engaged or married, they are still not in a lifetime covenant. In theory, they are still free to choose someone else. Break-ups can and do happen. Here are just a few things to keep in mind.

*Don’t get your hopes up—after all, this person is not available. Never invest emotional energy into someone who is not available.

*Keep looking for “unattached” people. Don’t sit around waiting for this guy/girl to become available. It may never happen.

*Don’t get involved in “two-timing.” If there is mutual interest, a choice must be made immediately about the current relationship (either stay with the current girlfriend/boyfriend or end the relationship to start something new). Don’t be involved in hiding something from an unsuspecting girlfriend/boyfriend.

*Don’t get involved in a “rebound relationship.” By “rebounding,” I mean getting into a relationship immediately after someone has broken up. This is usually a set-up for failure, especially if someone is leaving a long-term relationship.

*If this person is married, forget about it! God gave us the Ten Commandments for a reason. Getting involved with a married person is a no-win situation for you.

This is one of the many articles that you’ll find in my book: Basta Lovelife: Making Wise Relationship Decisions.


  1. been there, done that…survived the crisis! (that was before i got married, of course.) i guess that’s a universal symptom you’ve just labeled there. we know what it is and we’ve been guilty of it, but now it’s got a fancy name. i like that. 🙂

  2. Very interesting article.

  3. Thanks for reading and glad you liked my little nickname 🙂

  4. i know how that feels to not find your special someone.. im even thinking of priesthood if my lovelife fails me.. haha

  5. So enlightening….will keep this in my heart.

  6. So cute. just logged a similar thing on my friendster group forum regarding this matter on “to be or not to be single”. God rewards the faith that pleases Him. Let’s just delight ourselves in the Lord & He will give our hearts’ desires. Cool! So are we happy being singles? Do we feel satisfied? And it’s true that it’s still the best to think about God than to think how & when he’s gonna break up with her. Hahahaha! Thanks for encouraging the singles out there, kevs! PS I was tuned in to DZAS when you were their guest.

  7. Thanks for reading and for your comments, guys!

    Joy, thanks for listening to the radio show. The latest is that I may appear on a different show; one of the morning show sgeared more towards counseling.

  8. hope to hear your radio programs on counseling. wish to know more how to counsel a married couple who want a divorce. i just hate that idea but i love my friends. Thanks. God bless you.

  9. Hi Joy,
    That’s really a complicated issue. We know that God hates divorce, but a marriage requires both people to be faithful to their covenant. If one person does not honor the covenant, the other person is kind of left in a no-win situation.

  10. hi there kuya kevin……hope u dnt mind 2kol u kuya! i like ur article & i knw it wil serv as a leson 2 evryone. i missed out d opportunity of hearing u over DZAS, coz iv bin der during my practicum…gudlak! Godbles and more power!

  11. hello kuya kevin.. as far as i can remember, you’re the facilitator of true love waits in feu. right? that really caught my attention. anyway, this vulture syndrome? thanks for the tips. it will surely help a friend.

  12. That’s me, Eunice. Thanks for reading. If ever you want to do Bible study at FEU please let me know.

  13. hello Kuya Kevin..nice blog there..

    i almost been involved in that Kind

    eventhough he tells me that he already gave-up his gf for me

    i just can’t believe it..d ako matatahimik na may isang bigo dhil sken ayoko ng ganon

    i’m happily single now hehehe

    share ko lang po tong joke..

    minsan npadaan ako sa sweet na mag-lovers…

    aun nauso tuloy ang break-ups hehehe Joke joke =D

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