A few days ago I noticed a particular young woman on campus. What made her stand out from the others? Unfortunately, it was the way she was dressed. Her jeans were incredibly LOW. I simply could not look her way without staring at her lower ababdomen. To be honest, it was not easy to force myself to look the other direction.
One of the steps to purity that I teach students is to Beware of What You Wear.
Ladies, you need to understand something about men. We men are strongly attracted or “turned on” sexually by what we see with our eyes. Visual stimulation affects us men much more intensely than it affects you. Every man is like this—it is simply the way we are wired.
You need to keep this fact in mind when choosing your clothes. It is a sin for a man to look lustfully at a woman. We men are responsible for our own thoughts, but you can help us avoid this sin by dressing modestly. Let me give you a few practical hints:
Avoid Jeans that are Too Low. The modern fashion trend is to wear low-cut jeans, often along with a t-shirt that exposes the lower belly. Men’s eyes are drawn to this exposed skin, plain and simple. If you expose your lower abdomen, that’s where a man will naturally look. Don’t wear jeans that are too low. I’m not going to give you a definition for “too low.” Just remember this—the lower your jeans, the less modest they are.
Avoid Shorts/Skirts that are too Short. Legs are also a major “turn-on” for guys. Again, I’m not going to give you a definition for what is “too short” in a skirt. Just remember that the shorter the skirt/shorts, the less modest they are.
The Sitting Test. When you try on a skirt in a dressing room, be sure to also try sitting in it–see how it fits while you are in a sitting position (you may be exposing more than just your legs). This may not be a bad idea for jeans also. We’ve all seen someone sit down then spend half their time pulling on their jeans to hide their underwear.
I’m not saying that you have to walk around dressed like a nun. You can dress fashionably and attractively while being modest! I also understand that swimwear and some athletic wear are naturally more revealing than day-to-day clothes. I’m not promoting legalism—just common sense and self-respect.
Keep modesty in mind the next time you go shopping.
I would like for women to wear modest and sensible clothes. . .
-1st Timothy 2:9 (Contemporary English Version)
This is one of the many articles that you’ll find in my book: Basta Lovelife: Making Wise Relationship Decisions.
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