Pastor Kevin Sanders

"He must increase, but I must decrease." -John 3:30

For Women, Part 2: Say “No”; to Mr. Bolero

If you have attended one of my TLW seminars, you have heard this advice:
End the relationship immediately if you are pressured to have sex. Sexual pressure is inexcusable.

“Ganun ba?” (like that?) is the normal reaction of a few of the female audience members.

I will cut through the bola (flattery) and give you the real meaning behind pressure lines. Allow me to do some translation.

“Sige na” (come on, baby) really means one or all of these things:

I do not respect you enough to wait.

I do not care if I ruin your life by getting you pregnant.

My physical urges are what are most important to me.

You are not worth waiting for.

I do not care if I break your heart.

Your future is not important to me.

I do not care if you lose your self-respect.

I want to brag to my friends about my conquest.

I am selfish.

I am immature.

I am not ready to be a father, but I don’t mind giving you the responsibility of becoming a mother.

I am more important than you are.

Do any of these lines sound like true love?

You may think I’m exaggerating, but I’m not. I’ve been in the men’s locker room. I know what some teenage boys say when their girlfriends are away. If a guy starts putting on the pressure, the relationship is pretty much over. He has revealed his true intentions. You are about to get used in the most despicable way. Get rid of him before you have a broken heart. You deserve better!

This is one of the many articles that you’ll find in my book: Basta Lovelife: Making Wise Relationship Decisions.


  1. this is one of the boldest post that i have red so far…I’ve found a very courageous and sincere man in you…but the thing makes me feel so amazed is, you are a “guy” who was telling this. We are so glad that you have more concerns on woman’s worth…if you understand what i mean…nice post and be Blessed and continue to become a blessing…keep it real…^_^

  2. i think your right..There are lots of realization that I’ve learned after reading it..all those words definitely touch me,there are lots of guilt that actually runs to me..”That why on earth i have let a guy done all those stuff to me”..but now its over and im gonna change my life for the better..and im not losing hope..that one day i could finally meet someone who will truly loves me..

  3. it really really hurts to know the truth. but this is reality. cmon accept the fact. dont be naive.

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