Pastor Kevin Sanders

"He must increase, but I must decrease." -John 3:30

For Women, Part 1: You Lose!


Ladies, I now want to spend some time talking with you about the purity issue. Before I start, I want to restate that I am an advocate of male sexual purity as well as for the females. There are a few things, however, that I want you to think about as a young woman.

I want you to hear something clearly. Premarital sex is the ultimate losing proposition for a woman–it is the ultimate “dead end.” The reason is very simple: biology. If I had God’s power, I think I would cause some of these smooth-talking men to get pregnant. I think their attitudes would change after experiencing some serious consequences nine months after the fact! Well, I don’t have God’s power, and He has given a very special responsibility to women (not men).

As a woman, God has given you a high privilege and honor that men do not have. You have the ability to carry a human life within your own body. You can become a mother, the most precious human role in the history of the universe. Use this gift responsibly!

I simply cannot understand why any young woman would risk getting pregnant by a man who is clearly not ready to be a father. You have nothing to gain and everything to lose by doing this.

Here are some possible life scenarios that can happen to an unmarried pregnant woman:

Abortion: An estimated 400,000 abortions happen in the Philippines every year. Women, not men, are the ones who experience the physical pain and potential complications that come with this “procedure.” I am sure that men experience guilt over abortion. I am equally sure that it is women who suffer more from guilt over murdering their unborn child.

Becoming a Single Unwed Mother: 21% of unwed births here in the Philippines are from women age 15-19; 75% if you include ages 15-24. This is a difficult life. Your dreams of finishing school, finding a career, enjoying single life, and helping your family will be delayed or may be ended altogether.

Getting “Stuck” in a Bad Marriage: For many couples, the “solution” to an unplanned pregnancy is to get married. I’m sure there are situations in which this works out for the best. Other times, however, the woman ends up with a major jerk for a husband. Perhaps she felt she had no other choice than to marry him. Perhaps she did not see his true character until a few months after they were married.

Getting Abandoned: It is not unusual for a man to abandon his girlfriend once he discovers she is pregnant. This type of man is a complete coward as far as I’m concerned—lower than low. It is the woman who is then left to care for the child alone.

Difficulty in Finding a Suitable Partner: Generally speaking, young men are more interested in women who do not yet have children. There are exceptions to this of course, but I am speaking in general terms. Having a child out of wedlock may greatly decrease your chances of finding a good guy.

Are a few moments of pleasure worth these risks?

This is one of the many articles that you’ll find in my book: Basta Lovelife: Making Wise Relationship Decisions.

1 Comment

  1. I agree with your thoughts that — Having a child out of wedlock may greatly decrease your chances of finding a good guy.

    Iam a single parent, and I do believe in PRAYERS.

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