Pastor Kevin Sanders

"He must increase, but I must decrease." -John 3:30

ASK KUYA KEVIN: Same Sex Relationships

Someone asked:
“kuya kevin, what is your opinion about same sex relationships????”

I have had several students ask me this. There are two basic things you need to understand about homosexuality.

FIRST–THE BIBLE SAYS IT IS SINFUL. Everything the Bible says about homosexual behavior is negative. This is true in both Old and New Testaments.

Let me give you a few passages of Scripture (I will quote mostly from the Contemporary English Version unless otherwise noted).


Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.

All the way back in Genesis we see God’s plan for sexuality: For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24 NIV)
God’s plan for sexuality is One Man, One Woman in a lifetime committment (marriage). God’s plan has not changed.

God destroyed the city of Sodom due to homosexual rapists (Genesis 19:1-29). From then until now, “sodomy” is associated with homosexual sex practices.

In the Old Testament law, God also says: Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable. (Leviticus 18:22)


The New Testament also forbids homosexual behavior.

God let them follow their own evil desires. Women no longer wanted to have sex in a natural way, and they did things with each other that were not natural. Men behaved in the same way. They stopped wanting to have sex with women and had strong desires for sex with other men. They did shameful things with each other, and what has happened to them is punishment for their foolish deeds. (Romans 1:26-27).


I want us to look at a passage of Scripture from 1st Corinthians (New Testament):

Don’t you know that evil people won’t have a share in the blessings of God’s kingdom? Don’t fool yourselves! No one who is immoral or worships idols or is unfaithful in marriage or is a pervert or behaves like a homosexual will share in God’s kingdom. Neither will any thief or greedy person or drunkard or anyone who curses and cheats others. Some of you used to be like that. But now the name of our Lord Jesus Christ and the power of God’s Spirit have washed you and made you holy and acceptable to God. (1st Corinthians 6:9-11).

Now, let’s pay special attention to verse 11:
Some of you used to be like that. But now the name of our Lord Jesus Christ and the power of God’s Spirit have washed you and made you holy and acceptable to God. In other words, some of the church members used to be part of the homosexual lifestyle. What happened? God changed them!

The Bible says: Anyone who belongs to Christ is a new person. The past is forgotten, and everything is new (2nd Corinthians 5:17).

If you are struggling with this issue there are two things you need to do:

First, you need to have a genuine, life-changing experience with Jesus Christ. This is the only way that we can have a changed life. Please contact me if you do not know how to go about doing this.

Second, you need people who will support your new lifestyle. It is very common for people to be tempted even after they have committed to a new life in Christ. You need to get away from people and situations that will pull you back into those old habits. You need people that can help you grow spiritually. If you do not know how to go about this then contact me. I will help you or find someone who can.


  1. I have few questions for marriage (I am talking about the highly spiritual people who knows what God tells to them)

    1. For missionaries why do they need to wait for God’s plan, can they just get married another missionary nearby since they are both good Christians and run the same mission?
    2. How do you think about the pastor got married with a brand new Christian who has mission mind?
    3. If a man got a sign from God for his marriage, but he found he doesn’t like God’s plan?
    4. If both of man and woman got sign from God, but feel unsatisfied, what is the suggestion for them? Go head to get married and have a miserable life forever because of they want to obey God or wait for another true love?
    5. If the man who is dating with a good Christian girl, chatting with another Christian girl, hanging out movies with bunch of Christian girls, and pray so hard that God please show me the big sign so that I know who is my girl. Do you think God will show him the sign or punish him?
    6. What do you think those good Christians who are paying so hard but roaming around from this Christian girl to another girl while they are waiting for true love?

  2. Some interesting questions. I’ll answer them this way.

    First, God does not make the decision for us when it comes to who we marry. He helps us to choose wisely, but he does not make the decision for us.

    Here’s 1 Corinthians 7:39
    39A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.

    Notice that Paul says she makes the choice. In other words, WE decide. The only condition is that we should choose a Christian.

    For this reason it is not wise to ask God for a sign regarding who will be your spouse. You have to be much more practical–think about which girl you get along with the best and you are most compatible with. It is YOUR choice.

    You asked about ministry/missions, and dating. If someone feels called to do ministry, it is important that his/her spouse also has a passion for ministry.

  3. Thanks lord opened my eyes to know your will.
    thanks lord stoped me before i commit.
    Thanks lord protected from evils.

  4. Hello Kuya Kevin!

    Nice article.How about bisexuality? Though we were taught that there’s no such thing as bisexual. You’re either gay or straight. But my problem is this kuya kevin, I’m willing to live out a straight life maybe after satisfying my fantasies and curiosity of having a male partner. I don’t want to have this feeling of curiosity after marrying because that’s adultery. I’m a 19 year old student and haven’t had any form of relationships. I hope you can help me kuya Kevin with this dilemma: Live out a straight life or satiisfy my curiosity/fantasies first?

  5. You do not understand the nature of sin. We cannot simply “experiment” with it and then leave it. Sin entangles us and makes us its slave (Roman 6:16). If you experiment with homosexual behavior, you are likely to get trapped in that behavior. There are also health risks involved.

    Feel free to email me if you need further explanation. You may also wan to read the article entitled “Hope for Homosexuals.”

  6. Kuya kevin, I’m a bit enlightened. Thanks for the advice. I have read Hope for Homosexuals though I don’t know if I still have time to join the org. I think I would just follow what you have said and fight my curiosity/fantasies. thanks again. God bless you!

  7. hi kuya kevin! i just want to share something regarding this issue…

    i have a guy friend… he is a discrete one… I wanted him to change. i tried different things for him to realize that he is meant for a girl, not for a guy.
    Its like im courting him– throwing half meant jokes saying that i like him, being sweet to him… anything that you could think of when someone’s courting…

    i thought i started to harvest the fruits of my labor.. i thought he’s slowly changing… but i was wrong. He was still the same guy who used to have same sex relationship.

    is there still hope for him? funny as this may seem, but i think im the one who fell to the grave that i’ve dug.. i think im already inlove with him. And it hurts me knowing that he’s still enjoying those forbidden things.

  8. There’s always hope that someone may repent and follow Jesus, BUT that’s his decision.

    Read my article entitled “Three Stupid Words Women Say.”

  9. Hi Kuya Kevin,

    Thanks for this post. We in Courage are promoting a culture that is pro-chastity amidst the same sex struggle. You are doing a great work in your blog. Keep it up.

    If your readers want to know more about same sex attraction, please visit our site.


  10. can u give examples of the bad effects of same sex marriages pls? it seems pres. Obama has endorsed same sex marriages because he has seen normal children being raised up by gay parenting.

  11. Ultimately it boils down to disobedience of God’s word. I could also give examples of “normal” children being raised by parents who are not married–that is not the child’s fault, but it doesn’t make it right for unmarried people to live together.

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